Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of the most practiced traditions, with an emphasis on the food served, but also one of the most complicated ones for vegans.
The food eaten on Thanksgiving day has been mostly the same for the past 400 years--a testament to how much of a deep-rooted food tradition it is, and because of that it's one of the hardest (if not the hardest) time of the year to be vegan at family events.

Sitting at the same table as meat eaters during Thanksgiving

Contrary to the claims of some vegan personalities, sitting at the same table as meat eaters presents no moral issue when it comes to being vegan. Doing so is neither an endorsement of eating meat, nor an indication of acceptance of the practice. On the contrary, being present opens up an opportunity to change minds, either through civil discussion or just by example and presenting alternatives.

Considering the definition of veganism, it becomes apparent that simply being near others eating meat would not be non-vegan by itself:

Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude--as far as is possible and practicable--all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals.

A very unusual definition of veganism would have to be used to see merely being in the vicinity of meat as morally wrong or as a counter to veganism.

It might seem conceivable that by making a big deal about the meat and refusing to eat at the table, you can show people how serious the problems with animal products are, and somehow make them go vegan -- in the same way you might do if somebody had human meat at the table. However, this scenario wherein people would change their views in favor of veganism because of the shock caused by your making a big deal out of it just isn't a plausible outcome in human psychology when you're dealing with common behavior.

It might have happened very rarely and anecdotally that somebody has gone vegan due to an extreme reaction, but for the most part, this kind of behavior is only going to highlight how strange vegans are, or how veganism has changed you for the worse, making people around you less open to veganism or reducitarianism. However, the same is not true of having an extreme, adverse reaction to cannibalism, for example, where the majority of people already oppose the practice to an extreme degree. In the event of someone consuming human meat at the dinner table, even calling the police is the most obvious response.

The fact that you can successfully call the cops on cannibalistic practices testifies to how commonly unacceptable cannibalism is as opposed to animal product consumption, where calling the cops would never end up with stopping people from eating meat. This contrast indicates that an extreme reaction would get opposite results in the two situations.
An extreme reaction from a position supported by the vast majority of people is compelling in a way that an extreme reaction from a position supported only by a small minority of people is not. For more on this see shaming.

An argument that could also be given in favor of being complacent and forcing yourself to go through the ordeal of sitting through something that you detest is that being disgusted by these things and not being desensitized to them may help reduce recidivism and keep people vegan. This is a hypothetical argument based on reasoning, but of course may not bear out in practice due to side effects. For instance, constantly showing up with a look of disgust might lead to rejection from family gatherings under the pretense of always being discontent with these events. Vegans may, in turn, feel socially isolated and become more likely to quit veganism.

With that being said, there is an argument to be made in favor of not eating with meat-eaters when it comes to significant disgust and sorrow on a personal level.
Thanksgiving is a particularly relevant example of this dilemma, because an entire turkey is very often served in the center of the table -- a sight that is very often quite disturbing and saddening to vegans, as it should be when we understand the moral worth of the animal and can imagine what kind of painful life the turkey led before being slaughtered.

If you are considerably affected by the sight and by the smell of meat, the best option may be politely declining the offer to come sit at the table, without making it dramatic.
While it is good to make an effort to put veganism in a good light by appearing accepting, reasonable, and willing to participate in not-fully-vegan events--and thus making veganism seem less seclusive to others--there is a limit to it. With cases of serious discomfort, the effect of your presence may not be worth being a martyr. If you were to be distressed because of the turkey being served and eaten, it would be self-detrimental to push yourself to go through an entire evening of it for likely minimal good done.

Declining to eat with others

If you choose to decline to eat with others, do so in a polite and easily relatable manner.
There is a difference between saying 'you people disgust me for what you're doing' and 'I can't really stomach the sight, I hope you understand - it's nothing against you personally'.

When at a family event, you can then offer to join or rejoin them during desserts, or after the turkey is not there anymore, and you can endure the situation again. The hosts may even choose to leave the turkey in the kitchen or at another serving area so that you can join in for dinner.

Alternatively, when invited to an event, you can always turn down the invitation without explaining exactly your reasons, saying that there is something else you are going to do. However, this is not ideal, as you would not solve the situation of having to deal with non-vegan family events. You would still be given an invitation to future gatherings, and after a few times of making things up, it would become quite obvious that you are making up excuses.
Diplomatic honesty is usually the best way to handle things.

Requesting vegan options, and catering for a vegan Thanksgiving

When going to a Thanksgiving dinner (be it at your home or someone else's), it's perfectly reasonable to ask for some vegan options to be made available to you--ask kindly though, and don't come off imposing, as diplomacy is the best tool to deal with these situations even if it's clear what should be done.

Soups, mashed potatoes, and salads are easily made vegan, and shouldn't be a problem. Offer to help the person making the dinner, even if they know what vegan meals are--as it both assures it's actually vegan, and there are no possible mistakes from someone that's not vegan and might not have clear knowledge if certain things like honey are vegan, and it puts you in a good light, as offering to help with something extra you're requesting is considered polite.

When it comes to meats, instead, it's not as easy to ask for a replacement when going to someone else's dinner.

Fortunately, though, there are vegan mock-meat Thanksgiving options in this day and age.
Brands like Gardein and Tofurky offer a vegan mock-meat turkey option, that is quite liked by people that have tried it.

You could ask if you can bring your own vegan roast to the dinner, so that you'd be able to share also the 'meat-eating' parts of the meal, and efficiently be able to show off vegan alternatives to people that might not even know about them.

However, while those options resemble a turkey in texture and taste, they don't resemble it in sight. It's, in fact, not very easy to find a vegan turkey option that looks just like a turkey in shape and/or size. If looking to make a vegan roast yourself, to bring to someone else's dinner or to make for your own catering, check the section below--we have a recipe that would be a great replacement in texture, taste, and size.

Another great option for Thanksgiving, is to simply offer to host the dinner yourself.
This way, you could have a fully vegan meal for yourself, and, more importantly, for possibly many other people.
Depending on the size of the gathering, you should start preparing in advance to make sure everything is done in time, or you could ask for help to someone willing to help you cook vegan meals.

A few days in advance, you could also make sure to not have animal-based products brought at the dinner by others, by simply asking them to not bring anything. It's often tradition for people to bring something to eat at a Thanksgiving meal, and a lot of the times the asking to not bring anything is done out of courtesy, rather than an actual request. So, taking that into consideration, make sure to express your desire for them to actually not bring anything and to simply come to enjoy the meal without having to worry (not sounding too aggressive--if someone really wants to bring something at all costs, there's not much you can do about it without turning people off by being overly insistent).
By hosting a vegan Thanksgiving yourself, you'll effectively have replaced the non-vegan foods other would've eaten, had they not gone to a vegan Thanksgiving. On top of that, they would be likely introduced to new vegan alternatives that might make them more open-minded about veganism.

If you want to host a vegan Thanksgiving yourself, or if you simply want to bring your own vegan recipe to it, feel free to skim through the section below.

Vegan Thanksgiving recipes

These are some ideas you can follow or get inspiration from to do your own thing.

Name	Difficulty (x/5)	Time (minutes)	Type of Cuisine	Sweet/Savory	Flavor (Sour/Fruity/Oniony/Garlicky/Umami/Rich/Herbal/Earthy/Meaty)	Meal Type (Soups/Main Dishes/Breakfast&Snacks/Desserts/Sides&Salads)	Cost per Serving
Banana bread	1	105	Generic	Sweet	Fruity	Desserts	$0.72
Butternut squash soup	1	60	Generic	Savory	Rich	Soups	$0.65
Garlic mashed potatoes	1	60	Generic	Savory	Garlicky	Sides&Salads	$0.45
Gravy	1	20	Generic	Savory	Rich	Sides&Salads	$1.50
Pear mini bundt cakes	2	105	Generic	Sweet	Fruity	Desserts	$1.60
Pomegranate salad	1	60	Generic	Sweet	Fruity	Sides&Salads	$2.55
Pomegranate sauce	1	50	Generic	Sweet	Fruit	Sides&Salads	$7.80
Roast vegetables side	1	90	Generic	Savory	Earthy	Sides&Salads	$1.25
Roast with mushroom stuffing	3	150	Generic	Savory	Meaty	Main Dish	$1.67