Pointless Stories

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Pointless Stories

Post by PsYcHo » Tue May 15, 2018 1:10 am

Sometimes something happens that you want to talk about, but it's just not worth starting a discussion thread for.

So I'm making this thread to fill the demand!

Feel free to post anything here that you find interesting, or others may find interesting, that you may or may not want to have a discussion about. I'm not big on "rules", so post whatever, reply to whatever, or just lurk.

I'll start- :D

I live next door to a police officer. I'm Libertarian, so I'm not a fan of the police in general, but I'm also realistic so I accept that they(cops) may just be working a job. My work takes me away from home sometimes for months at a time, but I recently came back for a while.

I had a few stiff drinks, and my wife and I decided to sit on our front porch while I smoked a cig. I had a good buzz going, and we noticed our neighbor coming outside to go to his car. (his car is in our driveway; we have a double driveway and one car, he has a single drive way and three cars, so we let him park his cruiser in our driveway- the best security system is a cop car in your driveway, fyi :roll: )

Now at this point, I've had about five good drinks, so I'm not trying to make it obvious I'm highly buzzed while my officer neighbor is about. But, as I look over at my neighbor who is going through his cruiser trunk, I notice something...different.

My cop neighbor, is going thru his trunk,... in his boxers and a t-shirt.

Now I'm drunkish, but I'm on my property and my neighbor and I get along well, so I make my presence known, and my cop neighbor says hello back. I ask (in a general way, so....what's going on?) and he responds "I'm looking for my second Glock"(handgun for those that don't know). While he was looking for his Glock, he removed a .223 rifle, and a box of ammunition that makes my multi-hundred round cache seem minuscule. In his boxers.

We made some small talk, but A- he didn't find his Glock B- He was handling a high powered rifle and looking for another gun in his underwear. To be clear, I don't care about the handling of the firearms, but I am querulous about why the hell he was unabashedly in his underwear outside. And what the hell was/is he planning if he finds the second Glock??
Alcohol may have been a factor.

Taxation is theft.

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Post by Red » Tue May 15, 2018 6:42 am

Here's an old story my German friend told me.
Eulenspiegel journeyed to Cologne, where he stayed at an inn for two or three days without letting anyone know who he was. During this time he noticed that the innkeeper was a rogue, and he thought, "The guests will not be well off where the innkeeper is a rogue. You should find another place to stay."

That evening he told the innkeeper that he would be looking for another place to stay. The latter showed the other guests to their beds, but not Eulenspiegel, who then said, "Sir, I paid just as much for my lodging as the others did, but you showed them to their beds. Am I supposed to sleep here on this bench?"

The innkeeper said, "Look! Here is a pair of sheets!" and he let a fart. Then he let another one and said, "Look! This is your pillow!" Then for a third time he let one, until it stank, and he said, "Look! Now you have an entire bed! Use them until morning, and then lay them in a pile for me, so I can find everything together!"

Eulenspiegel said nothing, but thought, "Look! Take note that one rogue deserves another rogue." And that night he slept on the bench.

Now the innkeeper had a nice folding table. Eulenspiegel opened up the leaves, shit a large pile on the table, and then closed it up again. He got up early in the morning, went to the innkeeper's room and said, "Sir, I thank you for the night's lodging." Then letting a large fart, he said, "Those are the feathers from your bed. I laid the pillow, the sheets, and the covers all together in a pile."

The innkeeper said, "Sir, that is good. I will look after them as soon as I get up."

Eulenspiegel said, "Do that! Just look around. You'll find them all right!" And with that he left the inn.

The innkeeper expected many guests for the noon meal, and he said that they should eat at the nice folding table. When he opened up the table, an evil stink flew up his nose. Seeing the dung, he said, "He gives what was earned. He paid for a fart with shit."

Then the innkeeper sent for Eulenspiegel, because he wanted to get to know him better. Eulenspiegel did indeed come back, and he and the innkeeper appreciated one another's tricks so much, that from this time forth Eulenspiegel got a good bed.

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