Philosophical Vegan Forum

NOTE BEFORE YOU READ ALL OF THIS it's very important that you know I'm 15 years old so live with my mom and I'm going to school.

SO the last 4 months I have been a vegetarian and not a vegan altough I understand there are so much more reason to be a vegan then just a vegetarian it is already hard for me to be vegeterian. as most people know is that most people are meat eaters and this is also in my case. I only know 1 vegetarian wich I see 3 times in the month so... I'm kinda on my own. My dad was with 11 in the house so you can imagine I have a big familie and I go to difrrent families much. Specially now in the vaca but the thing is everytime I eat at diffrent families I have to say in a akward way I'm vegetarian and then you can already imagine what they say like : HAHA a rabbit in house or green eater. bassicly i'm like critisized by every one and if I say my reasons they ofcourse think it's stupid. even my dad. ( my parents are divorced btw ) also in school I just moved to a new school so I'm new there and when I said I'm vegetarian like I could feel that people wanted me less sometimes I heard lol that vegetarian what a stupid guy. a teacher there was vegan and she litterly got laughed at and ran away in class. it's just like the more I live like a vegetarian the more I realise that socially it's really hard to fit in. and also I want to do something like a open a restaurant and I understand you can open a vegetarian one but I don't know I don't think I will get far with that. I WANT TO like really want to but I feel like a gay in a religious familiy sometimes. I just find it really hard socially that I don't think I'm able to be vegeterian till I'm like old enough to choose how and when and really to live on my own. I saw a comment in the comment section it was also a young teen like me and said also that he later will turn vegan because now it's just so hard because everyone is kinda judging you.

Idk really I'm desperate..

I'm sorry about those bullies; that's what they are, bullies. They're hating on you because you make different choices. Some of them may bully you because they feel bad about their own choices, and they feel guilty for harming animals.

One thing some people do to divert peer pressure is to tell a small fib, like:

"I have a medical condition, I can't eat meat, I'm allergic"

You will be much happier with yourself, and be able to look back on your life with pride instead of shame, if you live your values. If you start eating meat again, it may change you as a person and make you more calloused to the world, and it will take something very special away from you: your values. It's something that makes you such a wonderful person that you were strong enough and brave enough to see that something was wrong and instead of doing what everybody else does, you stopped it.

Have you watched Earthlings? If you have, you should watch it again, and remember it every time the bullies pressure you. As cruel as these children are to you, the animals they are harming endure much greater cruelty. I know you don't want to be a part of that and cause animal suffering. That's what makes you a good person. And as you get older, this will make you stronger.

RagingUndead wrote: I WANT TO like really want to but I feel like a gay in a religious familiy sometimes. I just find it really hard socially that I don't think I'm able to be vegeterian till I'm like old enough to choose how and when and really to live on my own.

You are not alone in being part of a misunderstood minority who wishes at some point that you were in the majority instead, but the stronger wish seems not for you to change but for those intolerant people to change so that they are more open-minded and kind-hearted towards you. The acceptance you would get for switching back to being a meat eater isn't acceptance of you; it would be acceptance of a pretend you that might result the inner conflict of not living true to all of your values. Even as an adult, I told my mom that sometimes I wish I weren't vegan, because it would be easier on my social life, but that feeling passed when I realized that it wasn't my actual wish. The actual wish is for more people to replace pre-judgment with curiosity so that they would learn something. This is a phenomenon that I think many people in a misunderstood and unaccepted minority deal with, not just gays in religious families but also atheists in religious families and racial minorities. They at some point want to make themselves become more normal so they don't have to deal with intolerant behaviors, but it's those behaviors that need to change.

RagingUndead wrote:I only know 1 vegetarian wich I see 3 times in the month so... I'm kinda on my own.

Who is the vegetarian you see once every three months, and can you talk to this person/write to this person when you're not seeing each other face to face? Maybe he/she has also experienced some of the same conflicting wishes you are having and has strategies to share as well.

RagingUndead wrote: if I say my reasons they ofcourse think it's stupid. even my dad.

One possible reason the adults in your family, like your dad, might think your reasons are stupid is that they're coming from someone they regard as a kid, and there is sometimes ageism involved. They might be thinking about all the years they've been eating meat and cling to that transition, regarding your vegetarianism as just a teenage phase. If they hear the exact same reasons you gave from another source that many people regard as authoritative and objective, like scientists in a study, then they might be more willing to listen and take it seriously. The same is true sometimes for adults talking with other adults. Anytime I've told coworkers that the studies I found consistently showed that red and processed meat increase the risk of cancer, they almost all had open-minded responses.

brimstoneSalad wrote:One thing some people do to divert peer pressure is to tell a small fib

Yep. I know you're holding off on veganism for now, but the same can also be done with dairy if you say that you're lactose intolerant and CAN'T have dairy as opposed to just not wanting to have it. I was sharing social strategies with a vegetarian, and we both agreed that whenever we're out to eat and someone makes a mistake and gives us meat/dairy, if we say we "can't" have it, the server immediately shows concern and fixes the mistake. It's not even a white lie if you mean that you can't have red meat or processed meat in order to decrease your chances of dietary diseases. It's a true statement.

RagingUndead wrote:I just moved to a new school so I'm new there and when I said I'm vegetarian like I could feel that people wanted me less sometimes I heard lol that vegetarian what a stupid guy.

Are there any peers at your new school who haven't made fun of you about vegetarianism? Sometimes the ones who stay silent may not speak up even if they are open to vegetarianism, because they fear getting laughed at too. Sometimes the ones who stay silent think that people shouldn't be laughing at you but don't want to get involved in a conflict, yet they would be accepting if you spent time with them and wanted to make new friends with them.

If being a Vegan is important to you, try not to worry about what others think. The same ones who give you a hard time for not eating meat, are the same ones who will give you a hard time for -not dressing like them- not listening to the same music- making good grades- making bad grades-and any number of other things. (Basically, a lot of teenagers are assholes, but you know that already. Oh, and older people too. And children.)

If you don't want to make it a big deal, just avoid mentioning it to people you don't know well. If it comes up, a small fib like Brimstone suggested works also. (I'm on a health kick for now, I ate a burger and got sick for weeks last summer, I've been tired so I'm eating more vegetables, etc.) Since you are new at the school, give it some time and you will meet people who aren't total jerks. I'm sure their are Vegetarians and even Vegans at your school, you just haven't met them yet.

I'm over twice your age, and I only recently started changing my diet, and I was self-conscious about it at first. Trying to order breakfast and a complete stranger looks at you like you've grown an extra head if you get a meal with no meat. Family can be worse, because you have to see them all the time, but once they realize you are serious about it, it stops being a big deal. Although it may be harder for you if your parents cook all the meals, but you could always offer to cook for yourself.

No matter what way you try to live your life, there will always be those who will have a problem with it. The hardest part is learning to ignore those people. Good luck to you!