Eating vegan when family comes to visit...

[kimd63]

Hello all,

I am new to this group and also new to veganism. I am beyond excited with this new journey into not causing harm to any living creature through not purchasing or eating any animal flesh or animal byproducts! Woot woot! I do however have questions on how to handle situations when you have guests staying in your home, who expect you to carry the normal "staples" in your house (such as cream for coffee, milk, cheese, meat, etc.) for the duration of their visit. My mother in law will be coming to visit my husband and I at the end of July and I am not sure how to handle this situation as I would rather not have to feel like I need to restock our house with animal products right after we cleaned them out....does anyone have any helpful tips/suggestions on how to handle this? Also, I will be preparing meals for her during her stay and I am sure she will be expecting to eat meat, yet I am not comfortable with that, and I am unsure how she will react to eating vegan meals. Any insights would be appreciated!! Thanks

[AlexanderVeganTheist]

Hello Kim,

first of all welcome to the forum,

with regards to your question: I would never compromise ethics just to please people - not even family members. Having non-vegan friends/family over for dinner is always a great opportunity to acquaint them with vegan cuisine, in my opinion. So that is what I would do, give them your best vegan meals.

I'd advise to make a somewhat hearty, meat-like meal. If you just serve salad or mostly veggies, that may reinforce the stereotype of vegans being bland eaters. So look at some meat-substitutes, like seitan or soy-based things. Use spices, herbs and condiments - just make a nice meal, they'll like it . If you mention that what they're eating is vegan, they can realize they can have the same hearty meals, without the animal cruelty. That is, if they really are heavily meat-based eaters in regular life.

When it comes to coffee milk, I'm sure almond or (non-sweetened) soy milk will do just fine.

Buying animal products is not ethical, and when you have the opportunity to diminish not just your own consumption but also that of people staying with you, that's a great opportunity to do good.

I think if you do your best and serve them with nice foods, they won't even notice so much the absence of animal products .

If they ask if you have any cheese or meat, you can say that you've recently stopped buying and consuming cheese and meat because you've gone vegan. You can say "do you want to know the reasons for that?" and tell them if they do.

It's also interesting to know that cheese is actually physically addictive.

[brimstoneSalad]

Welcome Kim,

A good way to address this is by analogy.

Should an American be expected to stock and cook with Dog meat if somebody from Yulin came to visit wanting to eat dog meat?
Should a Jewish or Muslim be expected to stock and cook pork if a visitor wanted to eat that?

Help them understand that this is a matter of your beliefs, and it would be rude to insist that you do something that goes against your beliefs.
They can choose to go outside the house to eat some meat during their stay if they want, but should not ask you to compromise your values for them, and they should not disrespect your values by bringing meat into a vegan home.

As Alexander said above, if you cook rich and satisfying dishes with mock meats, hopefully you can show them how delicious vegan food can be, and they won't feel the need to go outside to go eat meat.

[AlexanderVeganTheist]

A good way to address this is by analogy.

Should an American be expected to stock and cook with Dog meat if somebody from Yulin came to visit wanting to eat dog meat?
Should a Jewish or Muslim be expected to stock and cook pork if a visitor wanted to eat that?

When you explain why you don't want to buy animal products and use Jews or Muslims not buying pork as an analogy, you risk creating a misunderstanding, that veganism is similar to religious dietary precepts. So when explaining, I'd be sure to include the actual reason, revolving around sentience.

Help them understand that this is a matter of your beliefs, and it would be rude to insist that you do something that goes against your beliefs.
They can choose to go outside the house to eat some meat during their stay if they want, but should not ask you to compromise your values for them, and they should not disrespect your values by bringing meat into a vegan home.

This I completely agree with.

[brimstoneSalad]

When you explain why you don't want to buy animal products and use Jews or Muslims not buying pork as an analogy, you risk creating a misunderstanding, that veganism is similar to religious dietary precepts. So when explaining, I'd be sure to include the actual reason, revolving around sentience.

Good point.

[PsYcHo]

Remember that this is your home, and the fact that you are preparing and offering food is enough. If they are not happy with the choices you make available, then they have the option to dine elsewhere. A meat-eating relative of my SO recently had a Vegan house-guest who prepared a Vegan breakfast for them both, and he loved it, so perhaps you will open them up to something new. Just be polite, and they should do the same.

Welcome and Good Luck!