Why we must ban a heterosexual marriage (satire)

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Yo. Today I am going to tell you why heterosexual marriage is wrong and harmful to a society. Please share if you love our traditional values and want to protect marriage.

1. Shrek will say "Any man who will have sex with a woman, he will be go to hell. Only a homosexual sex is allowed." By allowing a heterosexual sex and marriage to go on, we are turning our back on our ogre lord and allowing sodomy. If you truly love Shrek, you will not allow a heterosexual sex or marriage. Far quad loves heterosexual marriage. SHREK HATES HETEROS! And he is the basis of our society, look at the dollar, it is green for Shrek and says in God we trust, this means that the founding fathers all believed that Shrek was God. Do you want to turn your back on those who saved your country? (NOTE: I do not live in the U.S. but homophobic people who I am poking fun of tend to live in USA)

2. A heterosexual marriage will lead to sex and will lead to children, this will cause overpopulation. We can not have this. A gay sex can not make a child so that will mean that if everyone turns gay the human race will die out which is a good thing because humans are killing innocent animals in cruel manners and killing our environment with pollution.

3. Marrying a different gender will lead to all sorts of unnatural behavior like marrying a different species. Lets stick with marrying a same.

4. It's HOMOsapien! Not heterosapien! Therefore a heterosexual=/=human and so is animal. When are we allow animals to marry? Heterosexuality denies a Darwin theory of evolution because it claims that humans have not evolved from the primitive state and also denies the Big bang theory which is the basis for a Darwin theory of evolution.

5. Heterosexual males are all a bunch of limp-wrested sissies who like to go shopping, this is because they spend their time around women, who they are aroused to, and so are more feminine. Likewise, a heterosexual female is always ugly and muscular and likes male things, for he spends his time among st men, who arouse him. A REAL MAN MARRIES ANOTHER MAN AND A REAL WOMAN MARRIES ANOTHER WOMAN!