Should I have compromised?
Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2016 3:19 pm
Hello, members of the forum.
I have come across a dilemma today which I'm not sure what to do about. I imagine that at least some of you have been in similar situations.
Today is my aunt's birthday, and my mom asked me if I'd like to come along with her to visit. Since these family gatherings are celebrated with cakes (containing eggs and possibly dairy products), I of course would prefer something vegan. She made a cake with a cookie crust containing eggs, but offered to make the pudding on top in vegan form. I appreciate that she would do this for me, but I still have qualms with eating a crust that contains eggs.
She pointed out that even though the cake she made is not fully vegan, I might be making "more of an impact"* by attending the family gathering and eating part of a "somewhat vegan" cake, than I would by not coming and not eating it. She then said that I had something of an "ethical conundrum" to work out, and laughed mildly.
I replied, somewhat angrily, "or I could simply not come along at all". She was taken aback by this and insisted that I had overreacted**. She pointed out that I could simply come along for the sake of providing company (which I liked that idea). In that case I'd need to eat something during cake-time if I came (to be polite), but unless I brought something*** myself, it would need to be nonvegan.
*She didn't elaborate on this, but I think she meant that the good I could do for animals by being a positive influence on nonvegan family, would outweigh the harm I'd inflict upon egg-laying-chickens by eating a cake with eggs in it?
**Not sure yet, but I'm inclined to say that I did overreact. I didn't expect my mom, who understands my reasons for being vegan, to joke about an ethical-issue which I was unsure about. I wish I hadn't spoken in an angry tone. Perhaps I owe her an apology?
***This, I think, would have been the best solution. I should have baked something vegan, brought it along, shared it, and only eaten from that.
What would you have done in this context? If you either don't have time to bake something for a social occasion, or it's too late to do so, would you eat something with animal products in it to avoid offending the host & other guests? Should I compromise and let myself eat some cake with eggs in it? I'm not just concerned about the harm towards animals, but the message I send to others by eating something with a significant amount of animal-byproducts in it.
Also, what quantity of animals products is "significant" to you? I would not object to minuscule trace ingredients, but I would to a cake with eggs as a major ingredient. Thanks for your feedback.
I have come across a dilemma today which I'm not sure what to do about. I imagine that at least some of you have been in similar situations.
Today is my aunt's birthday, and my mom asked me if I'd like to come along with her to visit. Since these family gatherings are celebrated with cakes (containing eggs and possibly dairy products), I of course would prefer something vegan. She made a cake with a cookie crust containing eggs, but offered to make the pudding on top in vegan form. I appreciate that she would do this for me, but I still have qualms with eating a crust that contains eggs.
She pointed out that even though the cake she made is not fully vegan, I might be making "more of an impact"* by attending the family gathering and eating part of a "somewhat vegan" cake, than I would by not coming and not eating it. She then said that I had something of an "ethical conundrum" to work out, and laughed mildly.
I replied, somewhat angrily, "or I could simply not come along at all". She was taken aback by this and insisted that I had overreacted**. She pointed out that I could simply come along for the sake of providing company (which I liked that idea). In that case I'd need to eat something during cake-time if I came (to be polite), but unless I brought something*** myself, it would need to be nonvegan.
*She didn't elaborate on this, but I think she meant that the good I could do for animals by being a positive influence on nonvegan family, would outweigh the harm I'd inflict upon egg-laying-chickens by eating a cake with eggs in it?
**Not sure yet, but I'm inclined to say that I did overreact. I didn't expect my mom, who understands my reasons for being vegan, to joke about an ethical-issue which I was unsure about. I wish I hadn't spoken in an angry tone. Perhaps I owe her an apology?
***This, I think, would have been the best solution. I should have baked something vegan, brought it along, shared it, and only eaten from that.
What would you have done in this context? If you either don't have time to bake something for a social occasion, or it's too late to do so, would you eat something with animal products in it to avoid offending the host & other guests? Should I compromise and let myself eat some cake with eggs in it? I'm not just concerned about the harm towards animals, but the message I send to others by eating something with a significant amount of animal-byproducts in it.
Also, what quantity of animals products is "significant" to you? I would not object to minuscule trace ingredients, but I would to a cake with eggs as a major ingredient. Thanks for your feedback.