Sticky Situation

Vegan message board for support on vegan related issues and questions.
Topics include philosophy, activism, effective altruism, plant-based nutrition, and diet advice/discussion whether high carb, low carb (eco atkins/vegan keto) or anything in between.
Meat eater vs. Vegan debate welcome, but please keep it within debate topics.
PrincessPeach
Senior Member
Posts: 352
Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2014 1:36 pm
Diet: Vegan

Re: Sticky Situation

Post by PrincessPeach »

Never send any one you don't know personally a picture of yourself from your computer via any instant messaging system or even really on this website because it is not secure...

When you put a picture online from your computer it's like you are opening a door to your desktop for the wrong person to get into...

Really if some one is manipulating you (If you don't do this then I'll do this)
Don't even respond to their out reaches they are just looking for someone to control.
Responding to them and letting them know that their mind games are working is letting them win~ who cares if they want to be vegan or not they want control over you and your feelings, maybe even thinking that a vegan will be more compassionate to their b.s ...
Don't be a waste of molecules
User avatar
brimstoneSalad
neither stone nor salad
Posts: 10370
Joined: Wed May 28, 2014 9:20 am
Diet: Vegan

Re: Sticky Situation

Post by brimstoneSalad »

PrincessPeach wrote: Really if some one is manipulating you (If you don't do this then I'll do this)
Don't even respond to their out reaches they are just looking for someone to control.
Well, it depends on why they're manipulating you.

Most manipulation is done out of selfishness, to derive some personal benefit. Some out of concern for you or others

E.g. If you don't go to the doctor to get that lump checked on, I can't be your friend anymore and watch you treat yourself like this.

That's the 'good' kind; not out of selfishness, but trying to force you to do the right thing (which you know is good for you).
Although, if the person still doesn't see the doctor and you stop being his or her friend, is that really better for them? It's a difficult gambit, to try to make people do the right thing when they don't want to.

There's also the "If you don't stop hurting animals, I can't be with you"; there's an ultimatum in there, but again, it's not a selfish one.

The bad kind is pretty much defined by this guy's actions:

"If you don't be my girlfriend, I'm going to keep hurting animals".

He wants something, and he'll hurt others unless he gets it. He's an asshole.

It's important to be able to tell different forms of manipulation apart, and see if there are good or selfish intentions there.
That's not saying that even the selfless manipulation is necessarily good in the end (sometimes it can cause more harm, but alienating people), BUT the people who do it mean well, and they're good people just using questionably effective methods.
User avatar
Red
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 3983
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 8:59 pm
Diet: Vegan
Location: To the Depths, in Degradation

Re: Sticky Situation

Post by Red »

Something similar to me happened just now. I was using Omegle because I was curious. A girl sent me her Kik, and well.. she wanted to webcam with me. And not like Skype. You know how like when you're visiting an adult site, and they have a webcam? Well this girl sent me nudes, and wants to webcam with me. I thought she was just joking around, then she sent me a picture of her... ample posterior. Admittedly, I did get a bit turned on, but right now I am shaking. She wanted me to... uh... "cum for her" and sent me the webcam. I thought she meant that she would send me pictures and then I'd fap to them, but this obviously made me feel really uncomfortable. I declined the offer, since it asked for my personal information. I would post pictures, but the site does not allow porn. I guess I can private message you the messages if you want, if that's allowed. But at the same time, that would be violating her privacy, and then I'll just be circulating photos of her without her consent. From what I can tell, she's a little bit older than me. Any potential advice?
Learning never exhausts the mind.
-Leonardo da Vinci
User avatar
brimstoneSalad
neither stone nor salad
Posts: 10370
Joined: Wed May 28, 2014 9:20 am
Diet: Vegan

Re: Sticky Situation

Post by brimstoneSalad »

RedAppleGP wrote:Something similar to me happened just now. I was using Omegle because I was curious. A girl sent me her Kik, and well.. she wanted to webcam with me. And not like Skype. You know how like when you're visiting an adult site, and they have a webcam? Well this girl sent me nudes, and wants to webcam with me.
Those are probably not nudes of her. It could be a scam, or somebody trying to make money. Either way, you're under age and that's a bit creepy.
RedAppleGP wrote:I thought she was just joking around, then she sent me a picture of her... ample posterior. Admittedly, I did get a bit turned on, but right now I am shaking. She wanted me to... uh... "cum for her" and sent me the webcam. I thought she meant that she would send me pictures and then I'd fap to them, but this obviously made me feel really uncomfortable. I declined the offer, since it asked for my personal information.
You made the right decision; don't ever send personal information like that. It could have even been used to blackmail you, or could possibly be an enemy from school trying to embarrass you.
People can be shitty.
RedAppleGP wrote:From what I can tell, she's a little bit older than me. Any potential advice?
If she is for real, people like this may have emotional issues. I wouldn't get wrapped up in that.
Cyber sex is very safe in terms of STDs, but not necessarily in terms of security.

You're young. Just enjoy porn if you like that, and start thinking about love in your 20's (with real people, face to face).
You'll save a lot of horrible experiences by coming into things with more perspective and emotional maturity. Relationships of opportunity (like when you're in school, whoever just happens to be there at the time), aren't often going to be worth the trouble (or the herpes ;) ). And when you do, stay safe.
User avatar
Red
Supporter
Supporter
Posts: 3983
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 8:59 pm
Diet: Vegan
Location: To the Depths, in Degradation

Re: Sticky Situation

Post by Red »

brimstoneSalad wrote: Those are probably not nudes of her. It could be a scam, or somebody trying to make money. Either way, you're under age and that's a bit creepy.
Confirmed. It's actually a bot, and whoever got their hands on those pictures and is circulating thme around the internet is a despicable person.
whiff of the ol' brimstone wrote: You made the right decision; don't ever send personal information like that. It could have even been used to blackmail you, or could possibly be an enemy from school trying to embarrass you.
People can be shitty.
It's most likely some guys just trying o make money. It's without a doubt not someone from school, since I was on Omegle, which connects you with random strangers, and the kik was a bot. I don't even have any real enemies anyhow.
salad wrote:
If she is for real, people like this may have emotional issues. I wouldn't get wrapped up in that.
Cyber sex is very safe in terms of STDs, but not necessarily in terms of security.
i can tell
You're young. Just enjoy porn if you like that, and start thinking about love in your 20's (with real people, face to face).
You'll save a lot of horrible experiences by coming into things with more perspective and emotional maturity. Relationships of opportunity (like when you're in school, whoever just happens to be there at the time), aren't often going to be worth the trouble (or the herpes ;) ). And when you do, stay safe.
I wasn't really going for a girlfriend yet, since I'd rather spend the time I have to myself, as selfish as that may sound.
Learning never exhausts the mind.
-Leonardo da Vinci
User avatar
brimstoneSalad
neither stone nor salad
Posts: 10370
Joined: Wed May 28, 2014 9:20 am
Diet: Vegan

Re: Sticky Situation

Post by brimstoneSalad »

RedAppleGP wrote: I wasn't really going for a girlfriend yet, since I'd rather spend the time I have to myself, as selfish as that may sound.
You have the right idea. No, that's not really selfish.
Post Reply