Online Dating for Vegans?

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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by brimstoneSalad »

seitan_forker wrote: If Seachants uses the same handle on Vegan Passions, the fact that I drink (and partake in other Colorado-based stereotypes) is probably a non-starter.
See above how I talked about changing bad habits to make each other better human beings.
If you aren't willing to cut out the sauce, when it's something that's harmful to yourself and society (as a social practice), how can you expect a girl to go vegan? We certainly shouldn't hold double standards about these things and expect others to change or be better people when we're unwilling.

Change goes both ways, and there are things about all of us that we can and should strive to improve.

Go vegan, quit smoking, quit drinking (alcohol, the evidence suggests that a little coffee is healthy), lose weight, adopt a sport, do more activism, etc.
There are objectively good things we can and should embrace as positive changes in ourselves. Don't look at it so much as changing something that's part of your identity to become somebody else for another, but as changing for yourself, inspired by another.
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by Seachants »

brimstoneSalad wrote:
Seachants wrote: I haven't found a Meetup, dating site, or other group designed to get people to meet in-person for vegan atheists, secular vegans, rational vegans or anything like that.
Then why not make this one? I've met people on forums.
I'm not sure what you mean by "make this one." I think this site is designed for discussion, so I don't think I can make it be designed to get people to meet in-person. I guess we are free to create a thread inviting people to meet in-person or to private message people inviting them to meet in-person. I just meant that I haven't seen an entire site where the purpose is for people to meet in-person, like Meetup, where a group for rational vegans exists. As I mentioned, I might create a Meetup group like that in the future.

Have you met people from this site?
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by brimstoneSalad »

Seachants wrote: I'm not sure what you mean by "make this one."
Make it a place to meet people. Get to know other forum members, send PMs, make friends outside the forum.
Seachants wrote:Have you met people from this site?
Sure have, and will probably meet more.
Seachants wrote:I think this site is designed for discussion, so I don't think I can make it be designed to get people to meet in-person.
The discussion aspect is what makes it so great for getting to know people. And there's nothing stopping you from meeting other forum members in person. If you like somebody, ask him or her out. :)
Seachants wrote:As I mentioned, I might create a Meetup group like that in the future.
Yes, but as noted, something with such a narrow intersection might not have enough members to sustain itself as a social group (particularly in a limited geographic region).
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by Seachants »

brimstoneSalad wrote:Don't look at it so much as changing something that's part of your identity to become somebody else for another, but as changing for yourself, inspired by another.
That's a good way to put it. Changing the language regarding the behavior change can help evoke the change. When I was younger, I thought that if I didn't "lower" my standards for who I would date, I would be single for life. When I changed the language to "alter" my standards a little, that evoked a behavior change.
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by Seachants »

We've got a regular Chuck Woolery over here! :D
Hahaha. :)
seitan_forker wrote:If Seachants uses the same handle on Vegan Passions, the fact that I drink (and partake in other Colorado-based stereotypes) is probably a non-starter.
Well, the reasons I don't drink (alcohol)* and also look for someone else who doesn't are many:
1) Little to no nutritional value.
2) Personal taste aversion (when I learned about "supertasters," that explained it). If a partner drinks it very minimally and only for the taste, and he also doesn't try to get me to do so, I don't mind that. However, prior experience tells me that people typically try to get a partner to drink it with them (same with pot-smokers trying to get a partner to smoke pot with them), so I figure we're both happier if we have the same preference here.
3) Conformity despite one's actual preferences, among some who do it, an inclination I don't have. Even people I've met who say they don't like the taste and/or effect of alcohol drink it anyway to fit in during social events. I prefer not to give people an inaccurate understanding of my actual preferences.
4) Drinking for the effect, to the point of intoxication, with the reason that it's more enjoyable than sobriety implies that you think you're too boring or that your company bores you too much for you to enjoy your awareness of reality. I don't deliberately dull my awareness of reality except when I go to sleep or take pain killer for operations.
5) Most people who consider alcohol an essential part of their social life wouldn't fit into my social life, nor I in theirs. I prefer to at least fit in with each other's friends (though we don't have to all be friends) on social occasions. A party is probably more enjoyable when you're not the only one who is not drugging yourself, just as I suppose it's probably more enjoyable when you're not the only one who is drugging yourself.

*I do drink. Fruit juices, smoothies, the elixir of life... I just find it interesting when "drink" refers to only one type of drink, even though there are so many different ones. Maybe it's an instance of overgeneralization, where the most used or most loved subcategory get used synonymously with the general category name. It's like when people say Kleenex when they mean tissue. I don't think most people drink alcohol more often than other drinks, but they love it the most, so it incorrectly gets used synonymously with the general category name.

What are other Colorodo-based stereotypes?
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

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seitan_forker wrote: I guess I really meant ambiguously theistic. Seemingly spiritual in only a naturistic or consciousness-expanding sense, but then uncomfortable with the topic of atheism when broached.
Ahh, yes, I have experienced those kinds of people. I dated a vegan like that, who was very into yoga and meditation, which is common among vegans I've met. Nothing wrong with that, unless it's used as spiritual bypassing. When I explained how one can be agnostic as a basis for atheism (don't know if a god exists and don't believe what you don't know), he seemed okay with that, but when I directly stated that I'm atheist, I heard signs of discomfort, vague confusion and disagreement without any direct response.
I suppose being a pod person ruled by a vague will to stay positive (picturing Delores Herbig from 'Dead Like Me') is better than the structured alternative wherein you try to remain positive while succumbing to all the antiquated and harmful directives of an ancient book. /run-on sentence
Ha, I think it was a long sentence but not technically a run-on. Even a short sentence can be a run-on if two independent clauses are incorrectly joined, e.g., "I went jogging I got dinner." I could be wrong, but it looks like one clause.

Yeah, non-religious spirituality where people repress so-called negative emotions does seem less harmful than the equivalent positive thinking (like "Jesus loves you") rooted in religion, due to all the harmful directives of the religion that come with it. Some people cherry pick the "positive" parts of the Bible to follow, though, and ignore the harmful directives of their religion. In that way, the spirituality and religion seem equally harmful, if people are parroting the words of their guru without much independent thought and stunting their personal development.
Manipulation has different levels, and 'manipulating' someone into being vegan is definitely a worthy pursuit. I just so very much hate the word. Maybe when it's done with good intentions it should be called maneuvering? Haha.
Ha, yeah. I think we should use a different word, too! Maybe "influencing." Or as brimstoneSalad mentioned, "inspiring."
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seitan_forker
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by seitan_forker »

brimstoneSalad wrote: Go vegan, quit smoking, quit drinking (alcohol, the evidence suggests that a little coffee is healthy), lose weight, adopt a sport, do more activism, etc.
There are objectively good things we can and should embrace as positive changes in ourselves. Don't look at it so much as changing something that's part of your identity to become somebody else for another, but as changing for yourself, inspired by another.
Well stated, but I like beer. Craft beer, to be more specific. Not to get drunk, but for the taste. I probably have 2 beers a week on average. I'll order one with dinner on occasion. I like going to craft beer festivals two or three times a year and attend "Geeks Who Drink" trivia bimonthly with friends. It's more of a hobby than a vice. I could give it up and be fine, just haven't encountered a reason to. Becoming vegan has saved countless lives while drinking beer is only harmful to myself.

As for the other activities, I'm in pretty good shape and enjoy running. Other sports, too. Though golf is one and golf courses are an environmental pox. I definitely strive to be more of an activist, but even then I think I'd be able to juggle that and the occasional beer.
Seachants wrote: Well, the reasons I don't drink (alcohol)* and also look for someone else who doesn't are many:
1) Little to no nutritional value.
Correct. It's the nutritional equivalent of eating half a loaf of Wonder bread.
2) Personal taste aversion (when I learned about "supertasters," that explained it). If a partner drinks it very minimally and only for the taste, and he also doesn't try to get me to do so, I don't mind that. However, prior experience tells me that people typically try to get a partner to drink it with them (same with pot-smokers trying to get a partner to smoke pot with them), so I figure we're both happier if we have the same preference here.
3) Conformity despite one's actual preferences, among some who do it, an inclination I don't have. Even people I've met who say they don't like the taste and/or effect of alcohol drink it anyway to fit in during social events. I prefer not to give people an inaccurate understanding of my actual preferences.
Commendable.
4) Drinking for the effect, to the point of intoxication, with the reason that it's more enjoyable than sobriety implies that you think you're too boring or that your company bores you too much for you to enjoy your awareness of reality. I don't deliberately dull my awareness of reality except when I go to sleep or take pain killer for operations.
Agreed. That's the high school reasoning for drinking and it's not one I've subscribed to in a long while.
5) Most people who consider alcohol an essential part of their social life wouldn't fit into my social life, nor I in theirs. I prefer to at least fit in with each other's friends (though we don't have to all be friends) on social occasions. A party is probably more enjoyable when you're not the only one who is not drugging yourself, just as I suppose it's probably more enjoyable when you're not the only one who is drugging yourself.
It's definitely a common thread with my close group of friends. That and sports fandom. I guess I'd only consider myself and my best friend intellectuals, or aspiring intellectuals anyway. For the rest I guess they're still suck at #4 to a degree. They need the wheels greased to 'up' their conversation ability.
*I do drink. Fruit juices, smoothies, the elixir of life... I just find it interesting when "drink" refers to only one type of drink, even though there are so many different ones. Maybe it's an instance of overgeneralization, where the most used or most loved subcategory get used synonymously with the general category name. It's like when people say Kleenex when they mean tissue. I don't think most people drink alcohol more often than other drinks, but they love it the most, so it incorrectly gets used synonymously with the general category name.
I also drink 160 ounces of water a day. I like the alcohol as 'drink' colloquialism. The types of drinks you describe are nourishing and in that sense almost food.
What are other Colorado-based stereotypes?
Marijuana. Was trying to be cute in regards to it's legality here. I have a medical card and it's really been an instrumental tool in regards to managing my anxiety. I actually haven't smoked in several months, and it's something I could live without doing again, but I appreciate it as a natural alternative to animal-tested and highly addictive pharmaceuticals. I suppose if I broke my leg I wouldn't limp over the dispensary, though. I'd want the hard stuff.
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by brimstoneSalad »

Seachants wrote:
brimstoneSalad wrote:Don't look at it so much as changing something that's part of your identity to become somebody else for another, but as changing for yourself, inspired by another.
That's a good way to put it. Changing the language regarding the behavior change can help evoke the change. When I was younger, I thought that if I didn't "lower" my standards for who I would date, I would be single for life. When I changed the language to "alter" my standards a little, that evoked a behavior change.
Sometimes altering is lowering, but sometimes it's more of a horizontal move if you realize that one of your standards was not supported by evidence.
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by brimstoneSalad »

seitan_forker wrote: Well stated, but I like beer. Craft beer, to be more specific. Not to get drunk, but for the taste.
Have you tried any non-alcoholic beers?
seitan_forker wrote:I could give it up and be fine, just haven't encountered a reason to. Becoming vegan has saved countless lives while drinking beer is only harmful to myself.
Aside from self harm also affecting those who love you -- and your ability to do good for the world in the long run -- it's not necessarily true that it only affects your own health.

See this thread:
https://theveganatheist.com/forum/viewt ... f=17&t=571

Alcohol is a problem on a societal level, and drinking socially encourages social attitudes to alcohol which are harmful to those who have more trouble with moderation. Abstaining from social drinking is kind of like herd immunity with vaccines or the flu shot.

Yes, only some people will become alcoholics (you could even some day, sometimes it doesn't start until you get older), only some people become aggressive or violent when drinking or drink irresponsibly and operate motor vehicles etc. Just as only some people are unable to get vaccinated/have weak immune systems and can't afford to get sick. This would be no problem if others didn't encourage social drinking by participating in it as a predominant social currency, or abstain from vaccinating their children and creating comparable vectors for contagious diseases.

The same is true, though to a lesser degree, with marijuana. If it's being used as a legitimate and legal medication, then that's just medication and not a recreational drug. Hopefully there are alternatives to smoking though? Smoking anything drastically increases cancer risk (not just cigarettes). Lighting candles and incense is even terrible for you.

In moral and social terms, illegal drugs are even worse, because purchasing them supports all of the violence of the drug trade, as well as terrorism (for some drugs).
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Re: Online Dating for Vegans?

Post by seitan_forker »

Non-alcoholic beer is awful. And craft beer is too expensive to drink in excess. Beyond my having no interest in 'getting drunk', my frugality trumps all. FWIW, I'm drinking Chamomile tea right now!

RE: marijuana, I don't know why I said smoking as that's rarely how I ingest it. Another colloquialism, I guess.

Chicken and egg with illegal drugs and the evil people who benefit from their trade. I'm not comfortable with the idea of legalizing all drugs, but the fact drug users in this country are imprisoned instead of offered rehabilitative services...that stigma is why the black market thrives. Topic for another thread, I'd guess.
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