Philosophical Vegan Forum

Also, I might not check out your book. No offense, but some things I would like to figure out myself from life experience.

Maybe I'm just anxious/insecure about the idea of needing assistance with something like this.

And while I understand that nurture has vast influences on development, I want to remain genuine to myelf and be who I am, not someone else. That's not to say that I won't repeat other's ideas in my own way, but I have to genuinely feel like I personally believe in something before I promote it or live by it.

Dream Sphere wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:38 pmwhen I see a lot of those women of the majority colour with men of a different colour, that there must be something those women prefer about the different guys.

It's not unheard of that a person prefers to have relationships with people from a particular race but I don't see why you make the assumption that the women are with them because of their race.

Dream Sphere wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:38 pmsometimes I get the impression people prefer others of different "races".

Even if that were true, why would it make you feel insecure? Do you think your race is a lesser preference to most women? Do you think you would have a better chance in the dating game if you were of a different race?

Dream Sphere wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:38 pmBasically my stupid emotional male sex drive/ego makes me want to have all options available to me, while I feel jealous as others seem to compete with me in taking options off the market, and I feel more insecure if some options are preferring people unlike me.

Nothing unusual here. It's just important that you learn to act as if it doesn't bother you. Anecdotally speaking, I was very insecure around women when I was your age. However, I learned to act confident even when I felt like shit and this turned out to be a big advantage for me.

Jebus wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:10 pm

Dream Sphere wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:38 pmwhen I see a lot of those women of the majority colour with men of a different colour, that there must be something those women prefer about the different guys.

It's not unheard of that a person prefers to have relationships with people from a particular race but I don't see why you make the assumption that the women are with them because of their race.

It's an irrational anxious probably false assumption. I guess I tend to think it because sexual attraction is physical, so there are physical properties that some woman thinks is good enough to be the one to be monogamous with over other options. People are a package deal though, so maybe she thinks equally well of them and myself physically, but she just knows and likes their personality better than mine. It's not just skin colour, if someone looks similar to me except skin colour and a few other traits, I would be similarly jealous of them as a person with the same colour as me but four other different physical traits like height, weight, nose size/shape, facial bone structure, eye colour, hair colour, facial hair, physical fitness build, etc. Basically any physical differences that could be considered more valuable to someone than what I have. Different people of the same "race" could cause different levels of jealousy in myself. Both depending on if I personally found them attractive, and how different in a generally socially recognized superior, or potentially more attractive to some individuals type of way than me.

To reiterate I personally don't hold any preference over skin colour. I just think other people sometimes value it among other traits, so that's where I get jealous of other people valuing traits unlike my traits higher than mine.

Jebus wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:10 pm

Dream Sphere wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:38 pmsometimes I get the impression people prefer others of different "races".

Even if that were true, why would it make you feel insecure? Do you think your race is a lesser preference to most women? Do you think you would have a better chance in the dating game if you were of a different race?

It depends on the woman. Different women have different preferrences and I'm not a chameleon. Unfortunately I want to have everyone I like as an option, and it just so happens I'm not a shapeshifter. Be they hetero guys, lesbian women, asexual people (there's no way around that,) or just aren't fond of my appearance for whatever other reason, I unfortunately can't please them as they do me.

So, no, being an individual of a different race would appeal to another set of people, but not everyone I want.

Jebus wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:10 pm

Dream Sphere wrote: ↑Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:38 pmBasically my stupid emotional male sex drive/ego makes me want to have all options available to me, while I feel jealous as others seem to compete with me in taking options off the market, and I feel more insecure if some options are preferring people unlike me.

Nothing unusual here. It's just important that you learn to act as if it doesn't bother you. Anecdotally speaking, I was very insecure around women when I was your age. However, I learned to act confident even when I felt like shit and this turned out to be a big advantage for me.

I guess confidence will come with practice/exposure. I'm not going to pretend anything, but my confidence can genuinely change for the better.