In need of vegan related relationship advice

[Got55555]

I have been a vegan for almost a year now and I have a girlfriend who I started dating before I was a vegan. When I finally made the switch to veganism she reminded a meat eater. She is supportive of my life style but the main reason I became a vegan was for moral reasons (animal rights). Now I am conflicted, on the one hand I really care for her but on the other she actively participates in and encourages the whole sale slaughter and consumption of animals by consuming meat. I know she isn't a bad person but when I see her eating meat I am reputed away from her. What should I do? Talk to her? If so what should I say?

[Cirion Spellbinder]

Welcome Got55555.

A worthwhile relationship is held together by mutual friendship and shared values. I'd recommend you try to talk to her about reducing her intake of animal products and the ethical, environmental, and health implications of doing so. How and if this can be done depends on a number of questions. Here are some that would be helpful to know:
• Is your girlfriend open minded and honest?
• Is your girlfriend open to intellectual discussion?
• What does your girlfriend think of the ethical, environmental, and health aspects of veganism?
• What are your views on the ethical, environmental, and health aspects of veganism?
• Would your girlfriend be willing to join us here?

[PsYcHo]

Hey!

Welcome to the forum!

I haven't made the transition to Vegan myself, but I saw you were a new member and wanted to say hi! Cirion is waay more knowledgeable than me on Vegan issues, but I do have experience dealing with moral issues in a long term relationship. (11 years with a great person who still believes in invisible men in the sky. But I'd be lost without them!)

Since this is the Vegan Support thread, listen to their advice , and if you want my two cents, just reply with a quote. And once again Welcome!

[brimstoneSalad]

There's a big difference between coming around slowly, and being stubborn and not coming around at all.

If she turns out to be the former type, and it just takes her a few months (when you're with a vegan, it's much easier to go vegan with that support) to come around and she cares about the issues, then it may be better to stick it out and keep helping and supporting her.
The only way you'll know this is if she makes some gestures to show that she's interested in changing. E.g cuts down on meat, only eating it occasionally, goes pescetarian, or vegetarian, and keeps making progress that makes you feel confident she'll be vegan eventually.

If she's stubborn or outright resistant to any change, that's a bad sign and it means that you two aren't connecting very well. You should consider ending the relationship for both of you -- not because she's not vegan, but because you two can't communicate and don't share the same values. It's a bad idea to be with somebody long term with whom you don't share values and with whom you can't communicate on difficult issues. You can force that kind of relationship to work, but it should not be recommended (relationships are already hard enough when you do communicate well and share values).

In terms of communicating: Don't be afraid of talking to her about this. Don't be afraid of insisting you watch the documentaries together (like Earthlings), or watch debates on veganism together. Don't be afraid of reading quotes to her, or challenging her on WHY she does or believes what she does. Your relationship will not last if you don't take the risk of communicating or pushing discussion on the issue.
You have nothing to lose. If she gets mad and breaks up with you: OK, that's probably for the best since you two weren't connecting on values or able to communicate well. If she listens, learns, and shows interest: Great, you two probably work pretty well together, and you'll have a better future since you broached this early on.

In terms of discussion methodology, you may want to look into street epistemology. Questioning is the most important aspect.