Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

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Can an atheist marry a catholic?

Yes
16
89%
No
2
11%
 
Total votes: 18

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garrethdsouza
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Re: Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

Post by garrethdsouza »

CXC0401 wrote: I read through the article and it was very good, but I guess it's just tough because there is not really a clear HERE IS WHERE MORALITY COMES FROM argument. I would say it comes from evolution and the nature of animals that survive on a social culture, like most apes. I don't know if someone said it on here or I saw it in a documentary but we see evidence that monkeys and dolphins display altruistic behavior today, but according to religion only humans have souls, and thus morals. So there would be ABSOLUTELY no reason for animals without souls, i.e. everything else, to behave in a way that does not benefit them directly. But still there is a 'it is inherently written in our hearts' type of mentality.
Evolution or nature are not sources of morality, that would be an appeal to nature fallacy. Whatever is natural has no impact on whether it is ethical. While altruism may have evolved to an extent in certain species, that is by no means the only thing that goes on.
Rape, murder, adultery, war all take place in nature and may be evolutionarily advantageous in terms of passing on one's own genes but that has no relevance on whether it is ethical for an individual or society.

As to where morality comes from, religious people say that since humans are "imperfect", (idk what is the arbitrary criteria of perfection), so they cannot be a source of morals, only a perfect entity can give a perfect moral code, we'd just mess it up. Except we already just covered the issue of authoritarian morality and euthyphros dilemma, how authoritarian morality is bankrupt. And we never use the same logic to any other area - humans aren't capable of absolute/perfect science so we should stop trying and pray stuff into existence or refer to holy books for principles. Just because something is a man made construct that ofc doesn't mean it doesn't work. Science and tech work very well and so does ethics which is also a man made construct. By contrast just looking at religion and you can see how it is merely obeying an authority which they can't even prove exists.

Morality/Ethics is a field of research and there are books on the subject by professionals in the field. I was recommended this one by someone doing a PhD in the metaethics field.
Ethics: the fundamentals by Julia Driver
http://www.amazon.com/Ethics-The-Fundam ... 1405111542
(The less starred rating is from butthurt theists since she debunks divine command morality in the very first chapter)

Peter Singer's Practical Ethics is also supposed to be good. He's also someone who is big in the animal rights movement and in effective altruism.
http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Ethics- ... 0521707684

Since you're new to atheism, have you read anything on it?

Which is why I came here :lol: :lol: No really I did look at some sites and stuff where there are meetings where I live... but the south side of town gets a bit sketchy. I would love to have sit down conversations with people, though, just because it's SO much easier than waiting on responses over days at a time, especially when I know I cannot get on all the time.
Even if meets may be sketchy ATM, getting involved and actually making friends etc who you regularly interact with socially (not just formal discussions about atheism) and contributing to community building/meeting objectives can be very beneficial both in terms of having relatable friends and purpose. Otherwise as an atheist it can be an isolating experience depending on your environment and also somewhat purposeless since you won't be contributing to building anything that sustains beyond your existence..
“We are the cosmos made conscious and life is the means by which the universe understands itself.”

― Brian Cox
CXC0401
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Re: Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

Post by CXC0401 »

garrethdsouza wrote:
CXC0401 wrote:Morality/Ethics is a field of research and there are books on the subject by professionals in the field. I was recommended this one by someone doing a PhD in the metaethics field.
Ethics: the fundamentals by Julia Driver
http://www.amazon.com/Ethics-The-Fundam ... 1405111542
(The less starred rating is from butthurt theists since she debunks divine command morality in the very first chapter)

Peter Singer's Practical Ethics is also supposed to be good. He's also someone who is big in the animal rights movement and in effective altruism.
http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Ethics- ... 0521707684
I will definitely check it out
Since you're new to atheism, have you read anything on it?
No not in particular. Obviously I've heard of the God Delusion and (I forgot the title) by Hitchens but I personally haven't read it yet. I'm usually drowning in homework anyway.

But I do watch debates and stuff like that... and find it so absolutely surprising tat 48-51% of Americans believe in creation over evolution because there's no evidence or transitional fossils. Whut...
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Mateo3112
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Re: Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

Post by Mateo3112 »

CXC0401 wrote: And, if I may ask, how were you raised? And have you talked with your mother about how this worked out for her?
i used to go to church with my parents, which now that i think about it is weird seing how my mother is not christian. I never asked her how it worked, but i suppose it's more or less the same as when a fan of a football team, gets in a relationship with a fan of its rival team.
"Tell people that there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure" -George Carlin
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Robinwomb
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Re: Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

Post by Robinwomb »

I am in a long term relationship with a fundamentalist Christian myself as an atheist (who only recently came out about it). I know how tough it is. I will never marry my partner though we have been together for 18 years. I am not a fan of marriage anyway. I will say that it never gets easier when two people who live together have very different core beliefs (he is also omnivore and I am vegan going on five years). I couldn't imagine raising kids in a mixed kind of marriage like that either. I lost the opportunity to have children many years ago (hysterectomy and lost both ovaries at a very young age due to endometriosis) so thankfully for me that has not been an issue. It's not easy to break up either when you have invested so much in another person.

I would give it some serious thought before making that big decision.
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Aramiss
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Re: Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

Post by Aramiss »

I'd be asking my partner these things. If you can't agree on how to live and how the children will be raised then it's time to move on. Generally yes I think theists and atheists can marry, but it does require very good communication and respect of the others beliefs (which is why I married another atheist, I find it almost impossible to respect theists beliefs because I believe them to be harmful).
CXC0401
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Re: Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

Post by CXC0401 »

Robinwomb wrote:I would give it some serious thought before making that big decision.
I'm glad to see someone else who is going through this. It's not that I don't appreciate others advice... but familiarlarity is nice too. I know it's a huge decision to make, and I don't know how it would be if I was with him for 18 years. I'm sorry that you can't have kids, but appreciate the advice. I just realistically cant see raising them mixed.

And we've been discussing this and he brings up these huge philosophical reasons for believing in a god (not necessarily defending the Christian god):
1. Something can't come from nothing
2. The idea of perfection cannot be attained without knowing perfection, such as a perfect square can be mathematically attained but not attained in real life, and we only know this because we have experienced perfection in a creator

There are a couple others I can't remember but basically he just doesn't see how I can't believe in a god at all and it's really upsetting because he thinks many of my arguments are emotionally charged (which they are... but I've only come out for about a year) but that if I don't have a good fundamental basis for my lack of belief that I'm just as bad as an agnostic.

I just struggle with the relationship when god gets involved.
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

Post by brimstoneSalad »

CXC0401 wrote:I just realistically cant see raising them mixed.
You'll probably only grow to see the idea as more problematic. Is it better to peel a bandage off slowly, or rip it off in one quick motion?
CXC0401 wrote:And we've been discussing this and he brings up these huge philosophical reasons for believing in a god (not necessarily defending the Christian god):
1. Something can't come from nothing
2. The idea of perfection cannot be attained without knowing perfection, such as a perfect square can be mathematically attained but not attained in real life, and we only know this because we have experienced perfection in a creator
Those are all relatively easily debunked.
You may want to read Iron Chariots: http://wiki.ironchariots.org/index.php?title=Main_Page

CXC0401 wrote:if I don't have a good fundamental basis for my lack of belief that I'm just as bad as an agnostic.
In what way do you consider 'agnostic' bad?
CXC0401 wrote:I just struggle with the relationship when god gets involved.
Unless he becomes an atheist too, god will always be involved. Now least of all, because there are not children.
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Re: Can an atheist marry someone of faith?

Post by CXC0401 »

Those are all relatively easily debunked.
You may want to read Iron Chariots: http://wiki.ironchariots.org/index.php?title=Main_Page
I'll check it out for sure.
In what way do you consider 'agnostic' bad?
Not my words... but basically just without a fundamental belief system... do you really hold that belief type of thing. Like he is just a big one for wanting everyone to be set in their beliefs, whether it's politics or religion.
Unless he becomes an atheist too, god will always be involved. Now least of all, because there are not children.
Which is sort of what I'm hoping for but I'm almost afraid that he is so set in his beliefs that he would never convert even if he doubted. He believes there is at least a god and if anything he would question which god. I just don't know if he ever would.
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