Can my parents force me to be confirmed?
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Anonymous0758
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Can my parents force me to be confirmed?
My parents are trying to make me go to religious classes on Wednesday night so I can be confirmed into the Catholic Church. My parents do not know that I am atheist but I have mentioned it before and my dad got mad but my mom was kind of quiet. Can they force me to be confirmed? I don't think they can because of my religious freedom. But if they can't should I just comply and do something i'm forced to do just to make them happy?
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EquALLity
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Re: Can my parents force me to be confirmed?
Well, it really doesn't mean anything to be 'confirmed'. It's just a dumb religious ritual. It doesn't make you 'officially Catholic', because it's all BS.
But I wouldn't want to do it either, because it's essesntially your parents forcing their religion on you. I don't see how they could literally force you to be confirmed. They can't force you into the car etc..
If you mentioned you're an atheist before, they do know.
Maybe sit them down and talk about it?
Unless they're crazy religious?
But I wouldn't want to do it either, because it's essesntially your parents forcing their religion on you. I don't see how they could literally force you to be confirmed. They can't force you into the car etc..
If you mentioned you're an atheist before, they do know.
Maybe sit them down and talk about it?
Unless they're crazy religious?
"I am not a Marxist." -Karl Marx
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CXC0401
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Re: Can my parents force me to be confirmed?
How have you mentioned it before, but they don't know? You mean you mentioned the idea of atheism?
I know first hand how difficult it is to talk to parents. I haven't even come out to my mom about it, so I can imagine what you're going through. I, however, broke from religion after all the sacraments so I didn't have to go through this. And for that I am truly sorry and you have my support.
How old are you? Because no, they can't make you do anything. But if you're young (which I was in eight grade for my confirmation... so that's pretty young) then it would definitely be hard to get out of something that they seem to have so much control over. I know that if I was in you're position, I would probably think 'oh this is dumb' and suffer through it.. reaping the rewards of confirmation gifts later (like lots of money). But I would suggest talking with your mom about it first, especially if she seemed more quiet about the issue. She might be more willing to listen to reason instead of a heated argument. Are both your parents extremely Catholic? Because if they insist that this is the only way into the Catholic Church, technically your baptism already did that. This is you, as an adult, choosing the Catholic faith and 'confirming' your beliefs. And if that is something that the thought of faking it makes you want to throw up (because I get it, some things I now refuse to fake just because it irks me) then that definitely needs to be talked about with them, or maybe another close relative. But the truth of the matter is that if your entire family is Catholic they will expect you to make the confirmation as well. I think it would be really important to find an ally in your family that can defend your choice along side you.
I know first hand how difficult it is to talk to parents. I haven't even come out to my mom about it, so I can imagine what you're going through. I, however, broke from religion after all the sacraments so I didn't have to go through this. And for that I am truly sorry and you have my support.
How old are you? Because no, they can't make you do anything. But if you're young (which I was in eight grade for my confirmation... so that's pretty young) then it would definitely be hard to get out of something that they seem to have so much control over. I know that if I was in you're position, I would probably think 'oh this is dumb' and suffer through it.. reaping the rewards of confirmation gifts later (like lots of money). But I would suggest talking with your mom about it first, especially if she seemed more quiet about the issue. She might be more willing to listen to reason instead of a heated argument. Are both your parents extremely Catholic? Because if they insist that this is the only way into the Catholic Church, technically your baptism already did that. This is you, as an adult, choosing the Catholic faith and 'confirming' your beliefs. And if that is something that the thought of faking it makes you want to throw up (because I get it, some things I now refuse to fake just because it irks me) then that definitely needs to be talked about with them, or maybe another close relative. But the truth of the matter is that if your entire family is Catholic they will expect you to make the confirmation as well. I think it would be really important to find an ally in your family that can defend your choice along side you.
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Can my parents force me to be confirmed?
Make a trade: You'll get confirmed if they'll go vegan. 
That would make things a lot easier on you, rather than harder (if it works)
You'll have to come at it something like this:
You don't want to be confirmed, because Catholicism promotes unethical living, like harming animals unnecessarily.
They'll say it doesn't, and that it promotes kindness to animals.
You say, if that's true, then why aren't they vegan? Tell them to prove that Catholicism is good with their actions, not with words. If they do the right thing and go vegan, you'll keep going to church and get confirmed. If not, then it proves that Catholicism just excuses bad actions, and you don't want to be part of it, and that you'll go on your own "journey" which may not involve the church.
This is legitimately the biggest problem with Christianity in practice (vicarious redemption -- do all of the horrible things you want, and get a free pass to heaven for just accepting Jesus, don't bother being a better person).
If your parents will make some effort to compromise, it will be a lot easier to go along with this. Even if you don't believe any of it, it's a good way to socialize and influence others (within the church) to move away from religious literalism and be better people. You'd have little luck in doing that from the outside.
Of course, once you leave home you can move away and just not tell your parents you aren't going to church anymore.
That would make things a lot easier on you, rather than harder (if it works)
You'll have to come at it something like this:
You don't want to be confirmed, because Catholicism promotes unethical living, like harming animals unnecessarily.
They'll say it doesn't, and that it promotes kindness to animals.
You say, if that's true, then why aren't they vegan? Tell them to prove that Catholicism is good with their actions, not with words. If they do the right thing and go vegan, you'll keep going to church and get confirmed. If not, then it proves that Catholicism just excuses bad actions, and you don't want to be part of it, and that you'll go on your own "journey" which may not involve the church.
This is legitimately the biggest problem with Christianity in practice (vicarious redemption -- do all of the horrible things you want, and get a free pass to heaven for just accepting Jesus, don't bother being a better person).
If your parents will make some effort to compromise, it will be a lot easier to go along with this. Even if you don't believe any of it, it's a good way to socialize and influence others (within the church) to move away from religious literalism and be better people. You'd have little luck in doing that from the outside.
Of course, once you leave home you can move away and just not tell your parents you aren't going to church anymore.