Hosting cost

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Red
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by Red »

I'll hopefully be able to donate by the end of today. I just gotta make a stop at the bank.
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by brimstoneSalad »

Red wrote: Tue Sep 12, 2017 4:56 pm I'll hopefully be able to donate by the end of today. I just gotta make a stop at the bank.
Awesome, thanks Red!
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by Red »

OK, tomorrow for sure. Some dude that owes my family rent has mailed a check, but my dad wants to play it safe in case the check bounces (yeah, the guy isn't to be trusted). I would go into details, but I think I'll keep it personal for now.
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Dream Sphere
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by Dream Sphere »

It seems like it will probably be sometime in October that I'll be able to start donating. My Mom doesn't want to pay through her Pay Pal or Credit because she doesn't want a monthly recurring payment being taken from her account in a non-Canadian currency due to variations in exchange rate.

So I'm going to set up my own Pay Pal account. First things first I need to fix some issues I'm having with my online banking. To make things more complicated, my bank was recently bought out by a larger bank that it was partnered with, so I'll probably have to go to this other bank with ID to fix my online banking. After that setting up a PP account and transferring money to it, along with donating on Patreon shouldn't be an issue, but all this will take some time for me since my willpower and motivation to do things in general is low due to a minor amount of depression and medication making me really tired.

So it'll probably be done by mid-October. In the coming week I have a lot of appointments and early October is both when my birthday is, when a relative's birthday is, and approximately when I'm expecting to start to continue my education by. So some time shortly after all that's settled and I'm in my groove in terms of getting back into school, then I'll start working on this.
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by brimstoneSalad »

Thanks Dream Sphere, I really appreciate the update. Sorry to hear about the inconveniences. Whenever you can contribute, it still helps a lot. :)

I hope your depression clears up. Is that what the medication is for?
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by Dream Sphere »

My depression has gotten a lot better over the past three or four months, which coincided with medication and thought/behavioural changes, the downside is that Abilify ruins my sleep due to making me so restless and subsequently makes me very tired for large portions of the day. But it's better than how sedated and neo-nihilistic I was on Olanzapine, though. The upping of the fluoxetine only had good results, but it can't be raised any more.

I'm diagnosed with anxiety, OCD, and depression. Anxiety and OCD since I was 7, and depression since I was 19, though I think I had all of them for a few years before being diagnosed. Afaik the fluoxetine/Prozac is the one meant to primarily aid with my depression, and the Abilify is used as a mood stabilizer and helps with my anxiety along with the clonazepam I'm taking.

Here's a big tangent below on my personal issues, and thoughts of overcoming them. Feel free to not respond to it, it's long winded and not really related to the topic at hand in a great way besides my personal reasons for why I haven't donated yet. I just felt like spilling them here, but I don't want anyone to read it unless they're personally interested. Honestly it's kind of embarrassing with how much I spill here, I guess it's an indication that I should make an appointment with my psychiatrist (who's also trained in therapy) to have a talk about this with them, lol.

I think some changes need to be made in terms of the Abilify, but I think the primary issues are thought and behavioural ones right now, so I just need to work on those more and get myself more active in spite of my negative feelings. I might actually try to get this all done before the end of September just to prove to myself that I can get things done better than I've expected of myself for the longest time. A lot of the mental/behavioural issues go one thing after another acting as road blocks of anxiety, lack of confidence, doubt, and subsequent avoidance, but if I'm persistent, then I should find my time and opportunities where things fall into place.

So, I should get this done quite soon. (Of course my anxiety and doubt comes in to remind me of how many times I've promised things that I haven't followed through with in a timely manner, at least, and I ask myself what's changed, and I could say my conviction, but I've said it before and only sometimes it's been true and I've been able to follow through on my promises.) I still think it needs to do with persistence, so maybe that's what's different now. If something goes wrong, I don't give up, but make the best of what I currently can. So I will always keep trying to make the right decisions in spite of the few mistakes which I might make along the way, so I just won't give up or reset the clock like I have so many times before.

It's funny, thinking about this and my participation in being Vegan, you would think I wouldn't have the conviction to be Vegan for long if I made a mistake, but in this context it's plain for me to see that giving up based on making one mistake is ridiculous. Here I care about the long term results.

I guess the difference between this cause and my view of myself is that since I have so much self doubt, I doubt that any victories I achieve will mean anything in the end, since I doubt my ability to be persistent and achieve the combination of things I would need to have achieved to have a life worth living. But I think practice with being persistent, basically inceptioning resiliance will be my key to changing my maladaptive behaviours into adaptive, healthy ones.

To continue with the paragraph before the last, it also helps that being Vegan is really easy, so I haven't ever knowingly made a mistake since I went Vegan in 2014. I have accidently consumed some honey in trail mix bars, and some dairy once at a restaurant (parmesan and butter coming on flatbread which was meant for dipping in hummus, which I've since ordered without the dairy, honestly the hummus provides that savory taste better than any dairy I've had, so I find the parm and butter ridiculous additions to that order.)
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by brimstoneSalad »

I think you're right that it's mostly behavioral/habit now, it usually is (not that medication isn't necessary too, but it sounds like you have that well in hand). If you can build on small successes you can increase your confidence and break the cycle of giving up on things.

Have you seen this video?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

Interesting reflections on veganism.

It can help to talk about things. If you ever need to rant about life and don't want a reply, you can post in the open letter thread (I think that's the rule there).
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by Dream Sphere »

That vid is great, thanks. I hadn't seen it before, but it sums up what I shouldn't do quite well, and I regretfully regularly do about half of those things.

I knew SMART goals which I learned in CBT. VAPID goals are a clever antonym to that.

Also, I'll be sure to post in that thread as it's appropriate. Thanks again.

Edit: with a quick search I couldn't find the thread, do you have a link, or is it in the off-topic fun section? I know there's the "Open Letter To" thread but that seems like a wholly different thing.
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brimstoneSalad
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by brimstoneSalad »

Dream Sphere wrote: Sun Sep 24, 2017 11:08 am Edit: with a quick search I couldn't find the thread, do you have a link, or is it in the off-topic fun section? I know there's the "Open Letter To" thread but that seems like a wholly different thing.
That's it. You can just write to life, or whatever is eating you.

http://philosophicalvegan.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=2050
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Re: Hosting cost

Post by EquALLity »

Dream Sphere wrote:My depression has gotten a lot better over the past three or four months, which coincided with medication and thought/behavioural changes, the downside is that Abilify ruins my sleep due to making me so restless and subsequently makes me very tired for large portions of the day. But it's better than how sedated and neo-nihilistic I was on Olanzapine, though. The upping of the fluoxetine only had good results, but it can't be raised any more.
Yayyy Dream Sphere, I'm glad! :D :D :D
Keep at it, you got this. *claps* Yeet

that's all
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