Concerned about my brother's health.

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Red
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Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by Red »

Hey all, I've been meaning to make this thread for a while now, but I've been a bit reluctant to.

My brother is currently 20 years old, and I worry for his health. Here's a list of my concerns:
  • He doesn't wash his hands or wash his face regularly.
  • He doesn't brush his teeth.
  • His diet consists primarily of 4-6 eggs for breakfast, with steak and instant rice (yuck), or tuna fish for dinner.
  • He is obsessed with body building (which explains his diet), and when I started going to the gym, he kept telling me to keep pushing through the pain (I don't do that anymore, since I think it's harmful, and fairly pointless, especially since I'm not that into body building), and I assume he does it. Also, he doesn't do cardio.
  • He sleeps for about 14 hours a day, and the rest of his day consists of playing Fortnight and going to the gym (unless he has to go to work).
  • His farts and bowel movements are fetid, and are distracting whenever I'm trying to do something like read.
  • He seems constipated, since, usually in the morning, I hear him go into the bathroom, I sometimes hear grunts and breathing, and it doesn't sound like the stool comes out solid, or even one piece. Sometimes, I don't think he's able to get it out.
  • He doesn't groom himself often- he doesn't shave (and I don't mean he just grows a beard; he lets the hair grow under his chin and his neck), and he doesn't comb his hair.
The only thing healthy he does his shower regularly, but that's about it.

I told him about a lot of this, and he flat out admits he doesn't care, and I'm usually at a loss for words. I told my parents about this, and they're concerned for him too, as I sometimes hear my mother talking about his disgusting habits. They seem to be ineffective though.

So, I'm concerned. What the hell do I do?
Learning never exhausts the mind.
-Leonardo da Vinci
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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Re: Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz »

I know that we spoke about this on your discord, but I have found some useful information about why your brother ought to brush his teeth regularly. I would recommend to tell him that it is necessary to brush his teeth in order to prevent gum disease, as by not brushing his teeth, it can lead to plaque building up on the teeth causing Gingivitis which leads to inflammation of the gum. As well as that, the building up of bacteria on the mouth can travel down to the bloodstream meaning cholesterol could build up in the arteries and this can lead to a heart attack. It has also been shown that poor gum health can increase risk of dementia.

I hope this information helps. My fear, however, is that your brother does not care and will continue as usual regardless of consequence. My advice is to warn him of the dangers of not brushing his teeth and see if this convinces him to change his habits. If so, it is likely that he will do so when given information on how his other habits are unhealthy. If not, then I fear that there is little hope.

I wish you the very best of luck, Red.
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Re: Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by carnap »

Red wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:31 pm So, I'm concerned. What the hell do I do?
Probably not much you can do, what you describe sounds like "depression" and so long as he is eating poorly, sleeping too much and overall not doing much its likely to continue. Something needs to bump him out of the pattern, that is often were parents come in. It sounds like your parents are passive and unwilling to take action.
I'm here to exploit you schmucks into demonstrating the blatant anti-intellectualism in the vegan community and the reality of veganism. But I can do that with any user name.
esquizofrenico
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Re: Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by esquizofrenico »

I agree with carnap that it sounds like depression. Unfortunately I have a lot of experience in dealing with depressed people and I can tell you that is not going to get better by itself, rather the contrary. The only thing that helps with depression is forcing depressed people to do things, otherwise they stay at home doing nothing, which makes them even more depressed. He needs to socialize, something that will not only make him happier but also shame him into taking more care of his hygiene. You could tell him to go out with your friends, but he's not gonna want to, so you need to force him in some way. So maybe you could bring your friends home for drinking/board games/both. That way it will be easier to convince him to join you. Or maybe since you say he likes bodybuilding you can convince him to go cycling, running or some other sport (football, or whatever ungodly sport you people on the other side of the Atlantic like).

Do you know anything about your brother's love life? I have a friend that was very depressive all his life and he did not improve until he lost his virginity with his former wife and started being sexually active. This is just the same, he needs to meet new people. He's going to hate it at first, but it works.

Parents are not always useful. The parents of this guy I am talking about were a couple of saints (the father is literally the nicest guy I've ever met). They tried to help him as much as they could. I remember that the mother sometimes waited in front of my house (we lived pretty close to each other) for me to go out so she could ask me about my opinion of how his son was doing without him finding out. Nothing worked. He didn't improve until he left the house. So I wouldn't be too hard with your parents, it's probably they have tried to help him and seen that it only makes things worst. Depressive people normally have that teenager attitude of "My parents are the worst".

I wish you good luck. You are right in being concerned and trying to take action.
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Re: Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by sykkelmannen »

Red wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:31 pm So, I'm concerned. What the hell do I do?
Let me know when you figure out something that actually worked. I'd love to know.
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Re: Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by brimstoneSalad »

Since he's 20 there's probably not much you can do. Like others said parents probably can't help much.

He might start brushing after he loses a few teeth, but as to the rest it's hard to say. The suggestion about bringing friends around might help but he seems focused on body building so he may be suffering from some body dysmorphic delusions. He probably needs professional help, and if he won't consider it then as an adult there's little you can do..
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Re: Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by Red »

Just a note, we went to the doctor's today, and we each had a blood test. He said that since he's an adult and above legal age, he doesn't have to get one (since he's a spineless coward), but my mom told him he had no choice, and my dad also wanted to know about his cholesterol levels. So, when we get the results, maybe he'll start reconsidering?
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esquizofrenico
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Re: Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by esquizofrenico »

If he didn't want to get it it's because he already suspects that the results will be no good, so I don't think actually getting the results will do much to him. Maybe it's a good weapon for your parents to enforce him to improve his diet and habits, but ultimately it's his choice.
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Re: Concerned about my brother's health.

Post by Red »

esquizofrenico wrote: Mon Aug 06, 2018 12:43 am If he didn't want to get it it's because he already suspects that the results will be no good, so I don't think actually getting the results will do much to him. Maybe it's a good weapon for your parents to enforce him to improve his diet and habits, but ultimately it's his choice.
It wasn't that he is scared of the results, he's just scared of needles and syringes and such.
Learning never exhausts the mind.
-Leonardo da Vinci
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