One day, an Atheist was walking in the woods, in every step he took rejoicing in the beauty of what he saw and how amazing it was that it all came from random chance. He thought about evolution, and how amazing it was that one day a monkey was just walking about, and then as if by magic it turned into a human. He didn't question why monkeys still existed, because if he did, it would destroy his beliefs entirely. He just kept thinking about how his great grandfather was a monkey and how that monkey came from the big bang and before that there was nothing. Again, he didn't question how something could come from nothing, because again, that would destroy his beliefs entirely. Suddenly, he saw a bear, and the bear chased after him! The bear was going to eat him! He ran as fast as he could to get away from the bear, but tripped over! The bear was about to get him!
The Atheist yelled "Oh God!" and time stopped.
The bear froze, and the Atheist looked up at the sky to see an old, bearded white man sitting in a cloud looking at him. The man was obviously God. God said to the Atheist "Unbeliever! You denied my existence all of my life, and now you expect me to save you! Was it not you a few seconds ago who was attributing my creation to evolution!"
The Atheist said "I realize that it would be hypocritical of me to become a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?" and God agreed.
Time unfroze again.
The bear sank to his knees in prayer and said "Oh Lord, we thank you for this meal that we are about to receive". And then he ate the Atheist.
That bear's name? Albert Einstein.
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