My Beef With the History Channel
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:56 pm
The advent of the television marked a major turning point in human history. Being able to transmit video and audio to a screen hundreds of miles away was a sight to behold back in the day, and it has now become commonplace in the modern age. The invention allowed the common man to able to have the great Shakespearean plays already acted out and thusly transmitted to the comfort of their living rooms. As television evolved, so did the programming, creating cultural icons, memorable lines, and cult classics. Television has established itself as one of the most influential inventions of all time, ranking up with the printing press, steam engine, the telephone, the light bulb, and even the tried and true wheel. Often, we take for granted how much it has affected our lives and the people that came before us, as it serves as our great escape from reality and worries, transporting us into the great wonders of visualized imagination.
Despite the television's main use for entertainment purposes, it also has served as a tool of education for all demographics and age groups. There are educational television channels for the majority of subjects, Science channel reports knowledge, advancements, and breakthroughs in the fields of science, National Geographic discusses modern history, scientific advents, and geographic locations, PBS takes up the arts and culture, and the History channel has its place in this menagerie of scholarly avenues as the leading residence of great historical epics unfolding.
Or, at least, it did.
Now, I've gradually stopped watching television over the years, watching mainly only Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes (whenever they come on demand that is), and educational television. I've enjoyed watching the documentaries on these channels, and ever since I was a boy, the History channel was my favorite. I always considered myself to be a History person, so the channel for me was practically a godsend.
Now, as I'm willing to admit, it wasn't perfect. Various criticisms from the early days of the channel include its extensive coverage of World War 2, and it's bias for showing more American history rather than global history. While it is valid to criticize their broadcasting process, it does make sense from both a financial and historical standpoint. Even people who don't find history very interesting usually find at least something interesting about the WW2 era, and since the channel is an American one, it's easy to appeal to the country's audiences showcasing its most notable events. It had the widest appeal to audiences, and while I personally would've enjoyed seeing more of world history, there wasn't any false advertising. It was at least history, damn it.
Quite recently, the History Channel (how many times have I used both of those words?) has received criticism, not for showcasing too much of one historical moment, rather showcasing, for lack of a better term, nonhistory. W-w-w-wha-wha-what is this shit? "The Curse of Oak Island?" “Mountain Men?” “American Pickers?” This is NOT history! There's a joke where the History Channel is doing to history was MTV is doing to music. As comedic as that statement is, it has a substantial amount of truth to it! Historical documentaries about the rise and fall of the third reich are being replaced with some reality show about some dipshit who owns a pawn shop, just as a slew of music videos are being replaced with reality shows about inept mouthbreathers attempting to live together. In fact, both shows are the highest rated reality programs ever produced. Who woulda thought.
The channel is a fucking misnomer now, with a nonhistorical lineup of shows. Fucking Comedy Central’s ‘Drunk History’ is more historically educational than the history channel’s been in the past 8 fucking years! In fact, I think there was a mistake when it came to programming. The comedy of errors known as 'Ancient Aliens' was likely supposed to be slated to air on Comedy Central, and Drunk History was supposed to be on the History Channel, but apparently, they put a Scientologist in charge of the programming, and mistakes were made. Well, whatever the hell happened clearly has been a great benefit for the History Channel, as viewership has increased substabtially ever since they added these brain cell massacring shows, so they just said 'Fuck it!'
Who's the greek mother fucker who appears on that show anyways? That guy's a douchebag.
What happened to integrity? What happened to intelligence? What happened to education? I'll tell ya what; The vulgarians who run the channel actually have the POMPOSITY to say to us "Fuck integrity, fuck intelligence, fuck education, FUCK YOU, but most of all, FUCK HISTORY." That's all it fucking is.
You know what? I have a plan that'll satisfy everybody. How about you take all these shows, if you can even call them that, coup them up, and throw them on a new channel, called the pseudohistory channel. Sure, most will still have nothing to do with history, still making it a misnomer, but at least it's in a place that doesn't interfere with actual history, allowing engaged indidivuals who have genuine interest in the subject be educated about the various events that have created the world we live in today.
Ugh, who the fuck am I kidding? We all know Disney, wh owns half of the channel, is willing to sacrafice integrity for the sake of financial gain, even if it does mean denying the public with programs that teach us about the true nature of humanity.
Now, probably the best solution would be to make the the channel (and all other educational programming) publically funded, but given our shit public education budget, along with the channel securing itself as a private company, that's probably never gonna happen.
I guess if we want quality historical education on TV, we can watch Military History (and wars have changed the world a lot, so that's like 90% of history), Natioanal Geographic, and Drunk History. And there's always the History Channel website, which does History some serious fucking justice.
But, please, can we have History back on the History channel?
Despite the television's main use for entertainment purposes, it also has served as a tool of education for all demographics and age groups. There are educational television channels for the majority of subjects, Science channel reports knowledge, advancements, and breakthroughs in the fields of science, National Geographic discusses modern history, scientific advents, and geographic locations, PBS takes up the arts and culture, and the History channel has its place in this menagerie of scholarly avenues as the leading residence of great historical epics unfolding.
Or, at least, it did.
Now, I've gradually stopped watching television over the years, watching mainly only Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes (whenever they come on demand that is), and educational television. I've enjoyed watching the documentaries on these channels, and ever since I was a boy, the History channel was my favorite. I always considered myself to be a History person, so the channel for me was practically a godsend.
Now, as I'm willing to admit, it wasn't perfect. Various criticisms from the early days of the channel include its extensive coverage of World War 2, and it's bias for showing more American history rather than global history. While it is valid to criticize their broadcasting process, it does make sense from both a financial and historical standpoint. Even people who don't find history very interesting usually find at least something interesting about the WW2 era, and since the channel is an American one, it's easy to appeal to the country's audiences showcasing its most notable events. It had the widest appeal to audiences, and while I personally would've enjoyed seeing more of world history, there wasn't any false advertising. It was at least history, damn it.
Quite recently, the History Channel (how many times have I used both of those words?) has received criticism, not for showcasing too much of one historical moment, rather showcasing, for lack of a better term, nonhistory. W-w-w-wha-wha-what is this shit? "The Curse of Oak Island?" “Mountain Men?” “American Pickers?” This is NOT history! There's a joke where the History Channel is doing to history was MTV is doing to music. As comedic as that statement is, it has a substantial amount of truth to it! Historical documentaries about the rise and fall of the third reich are being replaced with some reality show about some dipshit who owns a pawn shop, just as a slew of music videos are being replaced with reality shows about inept mouthbreathers attempting to live together. In fact, both shows are the highest rated reality programs ever produced. Who woulda thought.
The channel is a fucking misnomer now, with a nonhistorical lineup of shows. Fucking Comedy Central’s ‘Drunk History’ is more historically educational than the history channel’s been in the past 8 fucking years! In fact, I think there was a mistake when it came to programming. The comedy of errors known as 'Ancient Aliens' was likely supposed to be slated to air on Comedy Central, and Drunk History was supposed to be on the History Channel, but apparently, they put a Scientologist in charge of the programming, and mistakes were made. Well, whatever the hell happened clearly has been a great benefit for the History Channel, as viewership has increased substabtially ever since they added these brain cell massacring shows, so they just said 'Fuck it!'
Who's the greek mother fucker who appears on that show anyways? That guy's a douchebag.
What happened to integrity? What happened to intelligence? What happened to education? I'll tell ya what; The vulgarians who run the channel actually have the POMPOSITY to say to us "Fuck integrity, fuck intelligence, fuck education, FUCK YOU, but most of all, FUCK HISTORY." That's all it fucking is.
You know what? I have a plan that'll satisfy everybody. How about you take all these shows, if you can even call them that, coup them up, and throw them on a new channel, called the pseudohistory channel. Sure, most will still have nothing to do with history, still making it a misnomer, but at least it's in a place that doesn't interfere with actual history, allowing engaged indidivuals who have genuine interest in the subject be educated about the various events that have created the world we live in today.
Ugh, who the fuck am I kidding? We all know Disney, wh owns half of the channel, is willing to sacrafice integrity for the sake of financial gain, even if it does mean denying the public with programs that teach us about the true nature of humanity.
Now, probably the best solution would be to make the the channel (and all other educational programming) publically funded, but given our shit public education budget, along with the channel securing itself as a private company, that's probably never gonna happen.
I guess if we want quality historical education on TV, we can watch Military History (and wars have changed the world a lot, so that's like 90% of history), Natioanal Geographic, and Drunk History. And there's always the History Channel website, which does History some serious fucking justice.
But, please, can we have History back on the History channel?