You resurrected the thread! You are my hero!Ana wrote: ↑Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:15 amWish granted, but your fur is infested with mites and lice, making you scratch yourself with your tusks/roll around in dirt all day.
I wish Hogwarts was real, but magical powers only manifest in your mid-twenties and that I live the rest of my life as a witch who can make vegan eggs that taste just like real eggs.
I can think up of two scenarios that could happen here:
A - People use time travel with time turners to mess around with time, so you do live as a vegan witch who makes vegan eggs that taste just like real eggs in one timeline, but this is a timeline you will never know about.
Yes, the time turners all got destroyed in Order of the Phoenix, but according to the Cursed Child play, that doesn't matter as people can just get their hands on them anyway in order to create a plot device for a story that nobody asked for and disappointed almost everybody. If you choose not to accept that play as canon (as I personally choose), then here is the other scenario.
B - When you are eating your vegan eggs that taste just like vegan eggs, you get a knock on your door and it is one of your vegan friends. He says to you "Wow, what is that smell! It smells just like eggs, and by eggs, I mean real eggs that come from chickens who are tortured factory farms or so-called 'free-range' farms! But I thought you were a vegan! I had no idea that you were so comfortable with the merciless exploitation of chickens!" You know that you are vegan, and you state that you are indeed a vegan but your friend inquires "Then what on earth is that smell!" He rudely pushes past you and barges into your living room where you were eating your eggs. Upon seeing the eggs, he cries out "Hark! I can see those eggs right there and I am as sure as my name is Napoleon Stoneman (NOTE: If you don't have a vegan friend named Napoleon Stoneman, just pretend he's said the name of a vegan friend you actually do know) that those eggs are not vegan! Not only are you not a vegan, you are also a liar!" You attempt to explain to him that the eggs are indeed vegan and you made them with magic which you learned because you are a witch and went to Hogwarts. His response is "What kind of drugs have you been taking, Ana? Magic isn't real! Hogwarts isn't real! Are you some sort of lunatic!". This is because he is a muggle and has never seen magic or Hogwarts before and thinks that it is all stories. You then demonstrate to him a Patronus charm to prove that you are a witch, and then he says "Oh okay, well you clearly are a witch then. I'm sorry I doubted you." But then, the Ministry of Magic kick down your door and perform a confundus charm on him and then they take you down to the Improper Use of Magic Office but they let you off with a warning as it was only a minor offence and they don't break your wand. But then, your story becomes a headline in the Daily Prophet, and because you are Muggle-Born, a group of Neo-Deatheaters uses you as proof that there is a Muggle conspiracy against the wizarding world, and claims that you were trying to teach your Muggle friend magic so that you could bring about a New Wizarding World Order where the muggles rule. And then, there is a violent clash between a bunch of Neodeatheaters and the Antifa branch within the wizarding world which you get caught in when going to the shops for the ingredients which you put in the potions that make your vegan eggs that taste just like wizard eggs. And what happens is they all start attacking you and then the Aurors all have to step in as it has gotten very nasty. And then you decide "Fuck this, let's actually start a conspiracy where I incite the Muggles to take over the wizarding world because they could probably do a better job". And then, you apparate into the UN Headquarters and tell all the Muggle world leaders about how they can threaten the wizarding world (which has already revealed their existence to the muggle governments privately) with nuclear bombs, as magic can not do anything against them. So when the Ministry of Magic step into the UN Headquarters and try to wipe the muggle leaders' memories, President Trump gets up and says "If you do that, I will launch the nukes!". So they wisely decide it would be a bad idea to do that. And then Trump starts tweeting about the wizarding world to Twitter and then the UN votes that the muggles should take control of the wizarding world, so now muggles are in charge of the wizarding world and are aware of the existence of magic and witches and wizards. Resentment brews between the muggles and the witches and wizards and then there are many cases reported of wizards and witches using the killing curse on muggles which prompts Trump to detonate the nukes and everybody dies in the explosion because he nukes the whole world.
I wish it could be Christmas every day.