Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wrote: ↑
Wed May 09, 2018 11:32 am
I'd like to change this wish to:
I wish Red could become President of the United States and I could become Vice President.
There, Red. If that isn't contribution, I don't know what is.
Halfway into my second term, I am assassinated and you must take the helm. You are successful in continuing my policies and then some, and you have an approval rating of 98%. You abolish the second amendment, improve education and healthcare, fix the electoral college, strengthen international ties, and so on.
However, Kim Jong Un hears of you becoming president, and upon learning about your North Korean beliefs, suspects you of being a native North Korean and is convinced you defected from the country. He is super, duper pissed and uses all their nuclear missiles to blow up New York City, Chicago, Las Angeles, and of course, Washington D.C.. This of course happens after the progressions towards peace made by my predecessors and continued by me.
However, you were fortunately/unfortunately out of town when the missile hit the White House, and everyone gets really angry at you. Your approval ratings plummet to 2%, especially since you don't retaliate due to your pro-DPRK stances. Congress overrides your vetoes on bills that would nuke all of Eastern Asia, which causes an all out nuclear war, which you are helpless to do anything in, as Congress and the Supreme Court took away all of your powers as Article 2 is repealed. Then, if that wasn't bad enough, they find out that you weren't born in The United States, and call for your impeachment. You are unanimously convicted and thrown onto the streets where everyone flings their shit at you. You are forced into a large tub of shit which you must swim around in and then eat. You are then castrated, mutilated, cooked alive, then given to North Korea as a gift. They are thankful for this gift, and World Peace comes soon after, since PsYcHo is now president with somehow successful libertarian policies.
Then the aliens who were watching were angry that their entertainment was lost, so they just blow up Earth. But the bomb used was so immense that it blew up an entire universe, then somehow created a multiverse where Orange Man
I wish I was never circumcised.