Open Letter To....

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PsYcHo
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Open Letter To....

Post by PsYcHo » Fri Apr 29, 2016 2:37 pm

Ever just need a place to vent, or to say the thing you wish you had said? I'll start.

Dear IRS,

Since I have only recently clawed my way to the point of having a bank account that usually contains a comma, this whole "paying" taxes thing is new to me. Last year was my first time, and while I expected it to hurt, I did not expect the force with which you pummeled my money-hole. I had just gotten to know that comma, and you took it away from me without so much as a kiss good-night.

And while I am blessed to have food, shelter, and electricity that hasn't been shut off two years now, several of my family members are not as fortunate. I help them with their bills when they need it, and they need it often. So is it possible that maybe this year, you can be more gentle? You were started with noble intentions, and deep down I know you are good, but maybe more "use tax money to help people", and less "occupy a nation that doesn't want us there!"? That could benefit us both!

I hope that you will consider it. (YOU CAN BE GOOD! I KNOW YOU CAN!)

Sincerely,
PsYcHo
Alcohol may have been a factor.

Taxation is theft.

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PsYcHo
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Post by PsYcHo » Mon May 02, 2016 3:06 am

Dear Family,

I understand that as I was adopted into this family, I do not have the usual sibling bonding experience. You were all well into adulthood as I was beginning to become part of this "family". I travel a lot for my job, and when I happen to be in the area where one of my "siblings" are, I take days off from work to just say "Hi" and have dinner if possible. Apparently this is an inconvenience for you, which comes as a surprise to me, due to the usual "come and see us!". or "why don't you come around more?" platitudes that are thrown at me whenever an important relative dies. (As this is the only time we see each other) To my "brother" especially, "YOU OWN THE FUCKING COMPANY THAT YOU AND MY NEPHEW (who couldn't get the day off) WORK FOR!!!! WHY DO YOU TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR NOT VISITING, BUT WHEN I DO VISIT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO SEE ME????!!!" And to my sisters, who also always ask why I don't visit; when you post shit on Facebook (which I don't use) about visiting the city I live in, but you can't fucking call me to tell me you are in town, but a few weeks later ask why I never come see you, I WORK ALL THE DAMN TIME!!, AND YOU ARE LITERALLY TEN MINUTES AWAY WHEN YOU COME TO TOWN, BUT YOU DON'T CALL ME!!! I DON'T USE FACEBOOK, BUT MY OTHER HALF DOES, YOU FUCKERS!!!!....(deep breath..)
So, in conclusion, go fuck yourselves. We have struggled for years and finally are at a place where we can usually pay our bills, and take time off from work, and not worry about where our next meal is coming from. You want to see us? You know where we are. But I may be too busy to see you the next time you call..... seriously.. Go fuck yourselves...

Sincerely,
PsYcHo
Alcohol may have been a factor.

Taxation is theft.

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brimstoneSalad
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Post by brimstoneSalad » Mon May 02, 2016 6:40 am

That sucks, but if it makes you feel any better: Most siblings, adopted or not, are not very close in adulthood.

I think people like the idea of family more than they like the reality of it. Thank TV sitcoms, I guess?

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Post by Insert name here » Mon May 02, 2016 8:32 pm

brimstoneSalad wrote:That sucks, but if it makes you feel any better: Most siblings, adopted or not, are not very close in adulthood.

I think people like the idea of family more than they like the reality of it. Thank TV sitcoms, I guess?

I would thank the culture of the 1950's for making the "Ideal" family something that everyone wanted.
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PsYcHo
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Post by PsYcHo » Mon May 02, 2016 10:01 pm

Thanks guys, but we worked it out. Just felt like ranting, which is why I started this thread. Not just for me though, so feel free to join in. Doesn't have to be serious or angry, just an open letter to anyone you choose.
Alcohol may have been a factor.

Taxation is theft.

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Post by PsYcHo » Mon May 02, 2016 10:15 pm

Dear idiot driving thru the parking lot today,

Wow, you sure did look really cool as you neglected your own personal safety and the safety of everyone else walking in the parking lot as you drove your POS with overpriced rims at Nascar speeds. I understand why you were upset at the people who dared to walk in a parking lot! Don't they know it prevented you from showing us all how much you learned watching Fast and Furious? Us mere mortals should pray for the chance to watch you in all your glory show us how utterly awesome you are. I sincerely hope you continue to use your gifts to impress all of humanity, and not end up wrecked in a ditch due to your own stupidity and ego!

Sarcastically yours,
PsYcHo
Alcohol may have been a factor.

Taxation is theft.

Cirion Spellbinder
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Post by Cirion Spellbinder » Tue May 03, 2016 12:42 am

Dear AP World History Teacher,

As AP exams begin to rear their ugly heads over the horizon, I would like to personally thank you for teaching me (nothing)this year. Copying down PowerPoint slides you downloaded from the internet and doing endlessly mundane and redundant homework has definitely helped me better understand and care about (a whopping zero percent of) this course. Additionally, thank you for your (useless) bi-monthly assessments. Receiving a scan-tron sheet with a total score and without access to the test questions definitely (doesn't) help me reflect on my errors and make amends. On the other hand, thank you for introducing me to the YouTube channel Crash Course which taught me more about each chapter we covered in as little as ten minutes than your PowerPoint's taught me in an hour.

Sincerely yours,
Cirion Spellbinder of GLORIOUS ARSTOTZKA (BEST NATION IN THE WORLD)

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_Doc
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Post by _Doc » Thu May 05, 2016 1:25 pm

Dear 'Woman' married to my brother,

Can I even call you a woman you act as if you are in elementary school. You treat your husband as your daddy, asking him for money for what ever you are into this week. You over react to ever little thing that happens to you and cry to him. You have no understanding of how much you put on to him. He works his ass off just so he can support your lazy self. You say you have a 'job' but it is a hobby. You just playing "Second Life" is not going to help you and him in any way. Yet, you act as if it does. You are in your early 30's and you still rely on others. You and my brother still have to live with me and my mom and dad because you ruined my brother's life. He has told me he is always tempted to sleep in the living room. He has to wake up at 3 am and you keep him awake till 12 am. Either by talking to him or your friends or bring in some greasy smelling food late at night. And you wonder why you are over weight. He works till 3 pm and as soon as he gets home do you have a meal for him? No you ask him to take you to a restaurant or tell him to make you something. I wouldn't mind as much if you worked as well but you don't. You just lay in bed all day. Not even feeding your own cat. Isn't pretty sad that a 19 year old is the one telling you this? Grow up. At the very least understand what you are doing with your life. Please. I don't hate you. Just irritated.

Truthfully yours,
_Doc
Its a nice feeling when people can agree on something. Don't you agree?

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Post by Red » Fri May 06, 2016 9:25 pm

Dear Girl in my Earth Science class
Hi. This letter is nothing against you or anything, but something that has been on my mind for the past couple months.
To start off, yes, you're hot. You've got one of the biggest posteriors I've seen in my short life, and I usually peep at it every now and again so I have something I can jerk off to later. I personally don't have any social media site that anyone else my age uses, but after browsing some of your social media sites, I can say with absolute sincerity that you are one of the most narcissistic people I know. Pages and pages of selfies, your ass, you in a bikini, etc.. I've never taken a selfie in my life, but it's not any of my business what you prefer to do in your spare time (or during school hours). But, if the studies are true, your narcissism levels are sky high.

Look, you have nearly 1,300 followers. I hope you're self aware of the fact that people only follow you so they can get their rocks off, and I'll admit, I did that a few times as well. I'm just saying. I think I'd rather be somewhat popular for having a special talent that took me months or even years to master, or at the very least get good at, like voice acting and drawing, rather than having good looks and a nice ass, which just happens to be an accident at birth (assuming you never got plastic surgery). Look, I'd rather be even momentarily popular for having a skill rather than being a young, less popular Kim Kardashian.

Look, you're a kind girl, and I've got nothing against you, I'm just saying my deepest thoughts about you.

Your friend, Red.
If the circumstances make it such that you can't fuck a man in the ass, then just peckerslap him. Better to let him know who's in charge than to let him get the keys to the car.
-Lyndon Baines Johnson

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Jebus
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Post by Jebus » Sat May 07, 2016 3:29 am

RedAppleGP wrote: people only follow you so they can get their rocks off, and I'll admit, I did that a few times as well.
Big lol. I'm guessing Doc's sister-in-law is pretty hot too by the sounds of it.
How to become vegan in 4.5 hours:
1.Watch Forks over Knives (Health)
2.Watch Cowspiracy (Environment)
3. Watch Earthlings (Ethics)
Congratulations, unless you are a complete idiot you are now a vegan.

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